A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This might be long so let me apologize for that in the beginning. Well, I broke up with my girlfriend seven months ago. At first we were still trying to be friends. But then she hacked my mail account and read all my mails to these other girls. It's true- I was cheating on her with them. I am really sorry for that. I wanted to break up with her long before that but couldn't bear to see her cry. We haven't spoken in a month after she told me she didn't want to have anything to do with me. Even though she firmly believes I never cared for her at all, I did. Is there any way I could get her to be friends or at least just talk sometimes?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): I don't think she has anything to be sorry for, even reading your emails...she acted on a hunch that she could not trust you, you treated her like a mushroom and kept her in the dark for your comfort, not hers, it was you who couldn't bear to see her cry, when the kind thing would have been to break it off before cheating on her had to happen.....
It has been a month since you have seen her, you dragged this out after the break up by talking and even sleeping together once.....I think you really don't want to be her friend, you want to keep her as a back up in case you don't find someone else, or you get lonely, you want to string her along with the friendship card.
Let her be, you've made her miserable enough....and as another aunt said, you did not realize her worth when you had her....so why should she waste any more of her heart on you?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): She read the emails a few days after we'd broken up. She was very angry and hurt. But we continued to talk. I even visited her thrice and slept together. When she visited my city earlier this year, our friend told her I'd gone on a few dates with another girl while I had been talking to her/going to visit her.
She knows it was very wrong of her to read my mails but is not sorry for it.
I just want to be able to talk to her occasionally.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Ok...you were you cheating on her 'before' the breakup and she found out? If yes, then she's right, you had disconnected emotionally from her back when you both were involved so therefore you did 'not' care for her. And she's been rudely nade aware of that and she's pissed off now. And now, you still want her as a friend? Keep in mind, what defines a good friendship. It's support and mutual interests, honesty and most importantly, friendship means "caring" for a person. You never did care. She needs time to get over her hurt and accept what had happened and now that you aren't a couple...I suggest you tell her not to hack into your emails anymore. Leave her be and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Why do you want to be friends with her, seems to me you are busy enough screwing other girls. I'd say leave her alone and I suggest until you can be faithful to a woman, don't get into a realtionship unless the woman involved knows that you are not seeing her exclusively. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if you hacked her email & read emails she wrote to other guys that she was having sex with? It feels awful, and I can't see a reason why you'd want to be friends with her unless you want something out of her. You said you wanted to break up with her long ago so I really don't understand why you claim to care about her enough to try & win her friendship back. It's gone, you broke her trust, let it go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Sorry Darlin',Not to sound mean but you truly dont' deserve her friendship right now. Not to say you never will, but it will definetly have to be on her terms and when she's ready.Just let her know the truth about the act that you did care about her when you were together and that you would still like to be friends...but only when she's ready. Let her know that you understand that she doesnt want to right now but that you'll be there when she's ready.
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A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 well what you did to her was totally wrong..u broke her heart..so the best u can do for her right now is stay away from her..i dont think she would want to talk to you after you cheated on her..and when u had her with you..u dint realise her worth!!! so why is it bothering you now..move on and next time be faithful to your girl..good luck with that!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): there may be a way, it all depends on you and her. girls hate it when they are cheated on, it tears them apart. its a horrible thing to go through and i understand why she's feeling the way she is. you need to talk to her and let her know you still care. you need to convince her that you wouldnt do it again.hope everything goes well :)x
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