A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was assaulted last night by a guy I had been dating for a month or so. I thought I knew him well-ish, he comes into the pub where I work, where I have worked for 8 months. Seems a nice guy, hasd a past with drugs and alcohol abuse, but since January this year has quit it all. He also has a bit of a rough past, criminal record with assault on his sister's ex boyfriend and a police officer and communiuty service.So yes, he doesn't sound the nicest kinda guy. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, he seemed to have turned over a new leaf. Last night, he was drunk. It isn't the first time we've argued when he had a drink, he tends to have a short fuse and flips easily. Yes, a warning, I should have walked away. But I didn't, believing he was just over emotional and that he would never hurt me.He assaulted me last night. I was imprisoned in his house, and his family did nothing. He threw all my belongings in a wet field - it was pouring with rain last night. He smashed my car up. He smashed my phone up by hurling it at my car. But worst of all, he attacked me. I'm covered in bruises and can hardly walk. There were witnesses to him damaging my car, I sought refuge at a neighbours house who heard me screaming when I finally escaped his house. I reported it to the police. But I'm scared. His family told me in the house when it was all happening that I would be sorry if I reported it to the police, because he is in so much troubel already. He's a dodgy character, I'm scared he will be waiting for me after work, or one of his dodgy druggie mates. I know the police will help, but they're not there 24/7 are they? They have told me that they might go ahea dand press charges anyway, even if I don't. And I would have to give evidence. If the neighbours give a statement and evidence I'm sure that would be enough for them to charge him. I just don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation. I've never gone for a guy like him, I've never been assaulted, I've never even been in a physical fight.I'm confused, tired, scared.
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female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (17 March 2008):
 "I should've walked away, but I didn't..."
Please stop blaming yourself.
You have my condolences.
A
female
reader, Lovesick24 +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Something similar happend to my aunt a few years ago, except she was alone with my toddler cousin when my uncle attacked her. I think you should most definately put charges on him. As for the people who threatend you about charging him, they could be all talk, or they could be serious. Don't go anywhere alone, and carry a walking stick of some sort, or something else you could use in self-defense. When my aunt got attacked, she bought a dog. Dogs are loyal and seem to know when their master is in trouble. German Shepards, Bloodhounds, and labs are the best for protection. My other uncle is a cop, and he had a German Shepard that was very protective. He's actually coming to visit today, I could ask him for advice if you want me to. Best of luck to you.
Sincerly,
Lovesick
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A
female
reader, young_laydee +, writes (16 March 2008):
hi hunnie my mum went through this with my dad who she was divorced to he imprisoned her in the house and sexually assualtd her it would have carried on but i walked in a witness some scary stuff but the police really are great and they help you all the way through and even afterwards. They supported my mum alot and helped me where they could as i was 16 and a child witness. Please dont let him get away with it he may do it again!! I think you should report it to the police and maybe stay with family/friends for a while? my dad got 5year for his crime and won't be allowed back in the area when hes released or he will end up straight back inside!! I hope this helps , sorry for you having to go through it.xx
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (16 March 2008):
 The police cannot be their 24/7 but if you tell them your concerns they will provide you with the relevant protection themselves or else point you in the direction of people who can; in the meantime your immediate concern should be to find a safe haven either with family or friends.
I think you know what you want to do but it is your fear of reprisal that is stopping you do it. If you report this then you are going to put him in even deeper trouble but it is clear that this man needs a combination of incarcaration and serious psychological help and it's obvious from what you say that his family are not going to provide any of that.
You must make your concerns clear at the time of reporting and tell the police why you have these ie, the threats made against you by his family. I am sure you have friends and relations who will be able to provide you with shelter in the meantime, ideally it should be ones that your ex knows nothing about. Your neighbours sound kind and gentle but I think that in general it is better for you to be well away from his family. Also, you have to speak to your managment at the pub so that he is not allowed to come there and cause trouble. Dont leave work alone and make sure there is somebody there for you at all times. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, M! +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Well you really did the right thing.He did this to himself, not you.So don't blame yourself for this.And his family is just as bad as he is if they're not helping you.Press charges on him for sure.If you don't its just letting him know what he did is okay. when its really not.I hope things work out.
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