A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm 19 m and in the most perfect relationship I've ever been in, it's been 6 months now and I am madly inlove with her.But- I was molested about 3 weeks ago.. and since then alot seems different, i have anxiety and can't really leave the house if I'm home alone etc. but the biggest problem- sex.The problem is, she was a virgin and I'd had a few sexual partners in the past (although I've never had this problem with them) and I wanted her first time to be perfect, i wanted it to be amazing for her.. the sucky part- i couldnt keep it up.. it didnt feel nice and i was stressing the whole time about making her feel good..but no, i dissappointed her and made her feel crap.. she felt responsible for not maintaining my erection, even though it's not her fault..so i ruined her first time.. but promised i'd make it up to her, so we tried again a week later.. and this time i could get it up, but i only lasted a few minutes.. and it didnt even feel nice yet again.i was so ashamed... i still am, neither of these times have been worthy of remembering i now dred sex and i feel so incompitent sexually.. which is not nice. i've already ruined her first few times, i want the next time to be amazing and restore faith in myself..Are there ways of dealing with my Prem Ejaculation? and making it last and feel better for her, Could it be linked to what happened 3 weeks ago and if so how do i make it better? Ive never sucked in bed with my previous partners but now i have found a keeper i do. Please help!thankyou all so much x
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female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Hi dear friend,Thank you for your kind words, but I was just being honest with you. I am so glad that somehow made you feel better...Life is full of challenges, I know what happened to you was something that hurted you, but its the past and time doesn't heal, but its what you do with your time that will make you a stronger and better person. I am so glad to know that you seek professional help and that you talked to your girlfriend. A lot of bad things happen to good people, I guess is part of life?.. But you got to be strong and always try your best in life and be happy. Wish you and your sweet girlfriend happiness and good luck!!Keep strong!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou so much chickpea, i am getting counselling now, and i have spoken to her about it, she is fairly understanding and i feel so much better knowing she is aware.
you are very helpful, amazing. thankyou so much again!
you have truly made a world of difference :)
greatly appreciated :)
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Hi,
Sorry that you're feeling this way..
Don't be too hard on yourself.. What happened 3 weeks ago affected your life tremendously, so its only fair that you have anxiety, stress, hurt, confused, angry, etc..
You need time to heal! Need to talk to somebody about what happened to you 3 weeks ago.. Its inside of you, you're not happy that's why you're having problem. Can you tell your girlfriend what happened 3 weeks ago? If not, then you need to find some other source to heal & let go of this emotions inside of you
Just take time, have fun with your girlfriend. Be loving, caring, sweet & things will be great. Sure you want to make your gf 1st time memorable because you love her so much, but if she really loves you, you being her 1st is memorable enough. Just remember you'll have plenty of chances to make her happy!!
Hope you feel better & good luck!
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