A
male
age
36-40,
*unny030823
writes:I was with my girlfriend since last two years, n we were good together. She always relied on me whenever she needed me even for d most small of her requirements but den few months back, according to our Hindu mythology we matched our stars or as we say KUNDLI. And according to our stars its described that she might die or have serious lifetime illness if she marry me. Then her mom asked me to leave her but as we loved and cared for each other a lot we decided to end this mutually, but from her side the process was fast and she started ignoring me. N thus we used to have fights every now and then. And then recently I got caught of her dating some one els and that's where we had our biggest fight n she left me leaving me blocked from Everywhere. She has accepted this thing that we can't get married and so now she is no more wants to end this mutually. She is fine with letting the things for like this. But I wanted it to end on a good note and not like this. I atleast want to be her good friend. I am unable to take her this step and this is hampering my daily life, my work, my health. Please help me out on this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 January 2018):
 I would love to know how this kundli knows that marrying you will follow with her having a serious illness. As for dying well we all will die at some point. But I would love to know what the method is behind these beliefs and why a happy couple would end their relationship on a case of what if?
Anyway you both agreed to mutually end this relationship. My guess is she started ignoring you so that she could have a chance to get over you. Two years together is a long time and you both need time to accept that the relationship is over and give each other a chance to come to terms with things and move on with life. I don't think having fights will help now, it sounds to me like it was her decision more than yours to split up and you are trying to keep in close contact with her. That is not how break ups work. You now need to remove her from your life and take time getting over her. You need to let her go. You should not be involved with her love life now, she is free to date whoever she wants now. I don't think that you have accepted that the relationship is over yet and that is something you need to do.
You need to learn that you don't always get what you want. You say you want to end things on a good note, and be friends. But do you really believe that? Could you be a good friend and watch her fall in love with another man and marry him? Would that not hurt you? OP you are in denial and you still love her, you need to let her go and give yourself time. Yes it is painful but you need to accept it and learn to move on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2018): It's best to accept that it has ended. If she's already dating someone else; you have no choice. She has moved on; or she is at least determined to do so.
She is following astrology according to her beliefs and Hindu tradition. You don't seem to be a firm-believer. Someone rooted in the belief the future can be foretold, just may not be a good match for you.
Maybe she assumes remaining friends would somewhat parallel in events the same as marriage; and she probably thinks the outcome would be the same. She's taking no chances with karma or fate.
You're mature enough to know when it's best to move on. Her mother asked you to leave her, and it is likely that sentiment will run throughout her household and extended family. So respect it. Your friendship has been refused.
I am sorry for your pain and grief. You must allow yourself to detach so you may heal. You will find love again; but make sure your beliefs and values are more the same.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 January 2018):
 OP,
Most people are NOT able to be ACTUAL friends after a break up, not if there are still romantic feelings floating around. A clean break IS better.
You might have wanted to end it on a good note (nothing wrong in that) but SHE didn't. She chose to "ghost" you and move on. We don't always get what we want. Things doesn't always work according to plan. Such is life.
So now it's time that YOU do the same. Accept that she no longer wants YOU to be part of her life and that she wants someone else. Which in turn means you are new "free" to find yourself a better match - both in the stars and on Earth.
She has made her choice and it's not you. I get that rejection is not pleasant but it IS what SHE choice for herself. So "mentally" WISH her well in her future and focus on yourself, your work, your family and friends. In time you might meet someone who is altogether better suited for you.
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