| A ,
*aahs
writes: hello, I am a 25 yr old guy in love with a 21 yr old girl. We have been together dating each other from past 2 yrs now, initially she was my french teacher, being so young I was thoroughly impressed by her intelligence and smartness, it attracted me towards her, and fortunately she started liking me too, till now we are together. The problem is that she has just graduated and concentrating on her career, which is right, and I have already completed my studies and have my own business. I suffer from type1 diabetes from past 9 yrs now. She knows it and has accepted this fact, she cares for me too, she loves me no doubt. The thing is that I want to marry her in the next one year, I have been telling her persistently, but she says she wants to build up her career. I told her she could continue even after marriage as she will have full freedom and no interference from my side, also me being financially settled very well, I am willing to let her do whatever she wants. I am forcing her the get married in the next 1 yr because I don't want any risk on the baby healthwise. The other major issue is that, now that we are in love and talking about the future, she has got her dream come true of teaching English in France for one year. So the next one yr she is gonna be in France alone. And this really hits me, I need her to be there with me thruout. Still I am now ready to compromise on her going. I can wait, but she still says that she doesn't wanna get married so early, at least 4 yrs more. That's ridiculous. She loves me a lot, but she has kept her Career on top of Love. I really can't live without her, on the contrary she is a strong female, but she is really my weakness. I ultimately end up to her decisions. I expect her to understand my situation, but its just 2 mths left for her to leave for France. I am upset... :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2005): get a grip
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (9 June 2005):
 I see this from a different angle to you.What I see is a financially-independant man demanding that a very young, talented woman give up her life's work and dreams so she can shackle herself to him before she's ready to, and become his baby-producing machine.Yes, I know that's a harsh take, but I won't apologise for it. Your girlfriend is only 21, for crap sake! She has at least 15 years of unassisted, healthy reproduction ahead of her, and all she's asking you for is another four or five, so she can get her career running and fulfil her ambitions for herself. There's nothing "ridiculous" about that. If you love this young woman as you claim, you will show some respect for her strength, talent and intellect by encouraging her to go and teach overseas for a year. If you try to manipulate her and hold her back, claiming her determination is a threat to your love, don't think she won't notice, because she will. You'll strangle the very spirit that attracted you to her in the first place.Let her go and wish her well. If your love is meant to be, you'll both survive the distance. And if not, consider that you saved yourself some heartache.
...............................
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (8 June 2005):
 I know her leaving has to be heart-wrenching for you right now. But isn't it better to know her reserves before you get married? You have two months left to sit down and communicate how you feel about this. Put everything on the table, even if you cry every last tear. One year apart across an ocean is a long time. You have to see something you probably don't want to, but you have a serious disease. It's not fair to pause someone's life because she wants to ensure that she can take care of herself and your children in the event that you are no longer in this life. It does not sound petty any more now does it? Maybe she was just avoiding talking about death of her true love. Think about it, then have the talk.
...............................
|
