A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, I cheated on my boyfriend of a year with another guy. Now I feel like I want us to break up so I can continue seeing the other guy and seek out new relationships... do you have any advice as to how to break it off with him? I know there is no way around hurting him and causing problems between us, but I really know that it is over now that I have been seeing someone else and I really enjoy it. I really do care about the guy and I feel so horrible about hurting him, but I know that I can't keep going on like this and lying to him about how I feel!! What should I do?
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female
reader, masquerade711  +, writes (29 January 2009):
 There's no way around it, he's going to get hurt. You should at least have the decency to do it in person. I've done phone/Internet breakups before and it makes you feel even more rotten than you're already feeling. Don't apologize all over yourself because he'll know it doesn't mean much...obviously you can't be that sorry if you're not backing down from the breakup, know what I mean? :) At least, that's probably how he'll see it.
You are definitely doing the right thing. If you're wanting to experiment with other guys, then your heart isn't with him anymore, and it's time to move on.
masq
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (29 January 2009):
 sometimes when a relationship is no longer working we push ourselves so far away unintentionally until the other person breaks it off with us!
you really should sit down with him and tell him face to face that it really isnt working. Tell him you care about him but your heart really isn't in it.
There is no easy way to break up with someone, you just have to bite the bullet. be as honest as possible but there is no need to rub salt into his wounds by mentioning another guy.
tell him you would like to remain friends and then the decision is his. you have to be prepared to let him go completely as it will then be his decision.
i hope it all works out for you
xx
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 January 2009):
I take it he doesn't know about the cheating then?
I think you just have to tell him that you are not happy and that you have been unhappy for a while.
Apologise for not having the decency to talk to him about your problems and giving him the chance to try and work it out. But tell him it's gone too far and you are breaking up with him.
You are going to hurt him terribly and there is a good chance he will get VERY angry when he finds out later that you cheated and have moved straight on to someone else.
But that is life.
Next time though I would reccommend ending your current relationship before starting a new one.
Good Luck!! xx
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