A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's a very long story. He and I have been best friends for 4 years, then he asked me out, since then we've been together for 3 years. Many ups and downs, two beak-ups. I still love him. Recently, he broke up with me because he said he has feeling for another girl (one of his friend), and he said it isnt fair for me. I really hate him for this. I tried to forget about him but I couldnt. I know he still has some feeling for me, not that strong. People told me to move on to someone who's more worth. I know it. I know he's not worth it. But i cannot move on. I want him back. So i told him that I will forgive him, I will accept the fact that he has someone else in his heart too (deep down, i hope that he will grow to forget about that girl). He told me to give him 1 month to think. However, I have a feeling that he's going to say no. But i really want him to say yes. Please help me come up with some sort of strategy or method that helps me win him back. I know this is stupid, but when you love someone, you gotta do something even though people around you tell you not to waste your time on a jerk, like this guy. Yes, he's a jerk, but I do want him in my life. So please, help me out with some specific advices, plans, what to do. Thank you
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male
reader, IrishDude22 +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Please, please, forget about him, I see all you girls these days, I'm 16 and I go to High School in Arizona, you date these dudes hoping they will be yours forever, some guys want to have sex with everything that walks, sorry for my language, but its true, they don't like you for your personality, they just want to have sex with you, THAT'S ALL, sorry to be so negative, but, if you're gonna date anyone, find someone who is TRULY a good person, who cares if he's a NERD, who will help you more later in life? The faggot who chases other girls, or the nerd who will love you unconditionally and have a good job to support you and your (optional family)? =) I hope things work out for you though. Make the right choice, you won't regret it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): He is not a jerk. Why? He told you the truth. He could have kept you guessing. He is a jerk for trying to salvage your feelings and saying he would think about it. If the other relationship doesn't work out, he might try to come back. However, he will leave you again.
I feel like you were begging for the relationship by saying you would accept another relationship. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I have done the same thing stupidly over the years and have always turned out the loser when I did.
My x told his mistress to give him a month (Ironic, eh?) to think about things. We were trying to work things out, and he was just buying time. He did not call her. After a mo., she contacted him. I answered the telephone and she asked who I was. When I told her I was his wife, she was astounded! She told me what he had said and bragged about the relationship. Well, hubbie got more less than a month from me! He went to her on the rebound while he tried to get me back. No can do! Trust issues! Besides that, I learned he had been seeing many women over the years.
Forget him! Make up your mind that you will not converse with him ever again.
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A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (16 September 2009):
 I know this is the opposite of what you wanted to hear, but no one can help you with that. There is no secret plan to have someone fall back in love with you.
The truth is you don’t really love him, or you’d leave him to be happy with his life. You just want him. You probably want him more because you can’t have him.
I have to wonder why someone would be content to have a man call himself her boyfriend when he cares more for someone else. Have you not wondered what may be missing from your life that you would be content with that over finding someone who wanted you and only you?
Trying to convince him to take you back isn’t going to make him forget why he ended it with you and make him love you more or again. It will deplete you in his eyes, not enhance you. He will grow frustrated and annoyed.
He probably has no plans of answering you in a month. He probably just wanted you to “go away” and it seemed like a way to get that without hurting you too much.
In my experience, when we tell ourselves we can not do something (like get over someone), then we can't - a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Leave the poor boy alone and move on because actually you CAN. You just don't want to and that's different.
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