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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have seen my girlfriend's BF out with another woman, getting very intimate in a bar. I did not approach my friend's boyfriend. I feel like I should let her know that he may be cheating on her, yet I don't want her to be hurt. They've been together a couple of years and are actually getting married soon. I think he has sort of a reputation for cheating so that's why I don't find this so shocking. I want to warn my friend - but wish there was some other way without hurting her so much. Any suggestions in letting her know she's making a mistake? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
 I would talk to her boyfriend and tell him what you saw and find out what he was doing and then tell him he needs to tell your friend what he is doing or you will as it will always be better coming from him than you.
If he doesn't confess to her than you will need to be the one to tell her but be prepared that it may well be a case of shoot the messenger and she also may not believe you, so you need to decide what is better protecting your friend from being hurt by this or leaving her to possibly make the biggest mistake and continuing to have a future together.
Remember when we are in love we are blind to what the person we love are doing and therefore he may lie and work his way out of this not only winning her round but also making you look like a liar.
Good Luck :o)
A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (25 September 2006):
 I'd suggest that you do not tell your friend. You have no proof whatsover and she won't thank you for jumping to conclusions. If you want to do something, speak to her boyfriend. Tell him what you saw. Maybe even hint that you are giving him the opportunity to tell his girlfriend if anything happened before you do. I assume she also knows that he had a reputation? If when she spoke of her plans to get married, you asked if she was sure, if that would make her happy etc, then all you can do is support her decision. It's her mistake to make and if she's happy, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do.
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A
male
reader, galymyde +, writes (25 September 2006):
The simple answer is you can't tell hurt without it being devastating. Friends seldom get thanks for this sort of thing, and your friend may end up resenting you almost as much as her boyfriend/ fiancee. I would have a word with the boyfriend, tell him what you've seen , ask him about it and try to get him to confess to your friend.
Although you want to protect your friend, you need to be 100% certain, the last thing you want is to lose a friend.
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