A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have a really weird situation. My boyfriend and I have been going together for about a month and I am head over heels for him. It was basically love at first sight (and I didn't believe in that until him). However, I am still a virgin and intend to remain that way until marriage (devoted Catholic), and he has been very respectful of that wish. Until recently.It started when we were making out one night (got pretty heavy) and then he couldn't stop. He finally curled up in a ball and asked me to leave because he didn't know what he'd do. I was really hurt but I understand that he did it for me and it means a lot. But he has been pressuring me lately to kiss him while he 'works out' what I got started or for me to give him a hand job/bj. I just can't bring myself to do it mostly because I believe in the Catholic teachings of what sex is.I realize that guys sex drives (especially around 20) are really hard to control, whereas girls have an easier time of it. I feel like I'm teasing him when we make out, so I try not to do it too often or get too involved, but it doesn't help and he still gets a boner and I have to leave because he has to work it out.I honestly don't know what to do. I'm leaving the country for 5 months to study abroad and I leave in two weeks. I don't want to break up because I love him so much but I don't want to hurt him. He's always had a problem with his sex drive and its really starting to come between us. Is there anything that I can do to help us get through this or anything to suggest to him so he doesn't feel guilty about pressuring me?
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hand-job, sex drive, still a virgin, teasing Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 April 2010):
 Sorry to hear that. I hope that you will get over it quickly and start a new chapter in your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. We did break up.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (6 March 2010):
He could always seek self release and making you feel guilty is wrong. He should not pressure you into sex.
You should not venture there as you cannot predict what will happen and he may one day lose control and force it upon you.Do not tempt him.
Some men have weak controls and they will submit to their base and animal behaviours.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 March 2010):
After just a month of going out, if he is pressurizing you, he's perhaps not worth it. If he loves you that much, he'll be able to control it to an extent. i.e. to ask you to leave is really quite low.
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