A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I want to tell my friend that I've had a crush on him since hs but I'm scared he'll turn me down and it would be awkward. We are good friends so he has told me about some of his past relationships and how he feels like there's no one compatible with him. We've had sex before and it was amazing. He's a really good friend, he's helped me through my recent break up that's when I fell in love. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I'm too insecure to be with him. He's really cute and girls are always flirting with him. I get insecure when he talks about the girls that flirt with him. Should I tell him my feelings or try to get over it?
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 May 2015):
Hmm, difficult to answer. I need some more info, so I have some questions for you:
- You've had sex with him before. Why didn't it develop into something more then?
- This "no-one's compatible to me" comment, did he say that before or after you two had sex? What was the context? I'm asking because it could be both a good and a bad sign. Bad as in him making it abudantly clear he doesn't consider you to be compatible either or a good sign if the context makes it seem like he was giving you a hint of the "they're not compatible but you are" variety.
When you have feelings for a friend, it's always tough to make a call. That's why it's sensible to gauge if he feels the same before you put yourself out there.
Now, we all know the signs that show someone's into you. So usually, if you have trouble figuring out if he's into you, there are 3 possibilities:
1. your insecurity is clouding your judgment, making you interpret flirting and the like as just friendly gestures
2. He's in the same situation you're in, trying not to give himself away because he's afraid to ruin to friendship if you don't feel the same
3. He just isn't that into you.
And number 3 is a very real possibility. Does he flirt with you, does he take the initiative when it comes to contact, does he like to sit next to you, etc. If he doesn't do any of these things it could be that he likes you as a friend, but not as a potential girlfriend. Can you shed some light on these things?
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