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female
age
30-35,
*ourDemolitionLover
writes: How do I tell my best friend(of the same sex) that I love her more than sisterly? My best friend, well, me and her are like sisters. In fact, we kind of are. I have strong romantic feelings for her, and I don't know how to tell her!!
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female
reader, Chefkatsu  +, writes (1 May 2011):
I'm going through the EXACT same thing right now. In fact, I told her and she completly accepted it. She was shocked, which I expected, but she told me that nothing In the world would ever make her hate me or stop being her best friend. In fact, she's asleep next to me right now. Of course, I was terrified to tell her, but I finally did. We are both going to wait till the morning to discuss it more, but she did ask me what I wanted to do about it. But that's the thing. I love her romantically, and I have for a while, then I find out she's bi, and so you can see why I would suspect the same from her. I don't know exactly what's going to happen in your situation, but I wish you the best of luck. ;3
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): I had told my best Friend that i wanted to be more than friends even though I new she had seen me as a brother but for the last couple of months i was thinking about it none stop and i had no idea what to do. then one night we all were by a friends house and she had gotten drunk and started to make out with the b-day boy and one of his best friends and then it hit me that i really had feeling for her. The next day she called me up to come and talk to her cause she had felt guilty about what she had did. But i didn't let her finish and i told her what i need to tell her and that was that i wanted to be more than friends and she gave me this weird look and then wouldn't talk with me. Now I not only messed up a great friendship but i cant even figure out how to explain to her that its alright if she don't feel the same way about me and for the friendship to be a little normal. After what i Just had told her. So my advice to all of you out there is if you really do like the person your best friends with its time to tell them even though my story end up fucked up at least tryied and she knows how a feel now the rest is up to her. If you don't take any risks you will never be happy. SO just go to them and talk because you may never know she just might feel the same way about you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): Well i want to help you by coming clean straight away and saying i've been in the same boat you are in right now! And i'm sorry to say but things can only get rough before you begin to see things clearly.
I realise i had serious feelings for my closest mate here at uni when she was all i could think about and just never wanted to leave her (even made excuses to do all nighters watching dvd's and ordering takeaways to spend time with her!) I knew it was serious when i couldnt bring myself to make out with her anymore as i knew she was just doing it for a pull where as i wanted a lot more.
I lived with this secret for a few months until something she said made me lash out at her and caused me to spill the truth into her lap. Of course, i was rejected as she prefers men to women and a certain guy in particular at that moment in time.
I found it hard tio be arund her for a while, but as she was really cool about it our friendship was soon on track.
There are glitches that i shall warn you about however as they occured to me.
1) Jealousy is a bitch and yes, she did start making out with someone else which really pisses me off but as shes my friend i only want for her to be happy.
2) On the odd occassion iv had my friend coming onto me when she was drunk and she would forget about it in the morning. I hope that your friend will respect how you feel but tehre are those who dont so be prepared to be used for their enjoyment.
3) As she is my closest friend here i'm meant to be able to tell her everything but seriously, even when you think you might have worked things out, they will never want to know you dream about them and think about them constantly. It will only scare them further away as they still wont fully understand what you are goin through.
I admitted my feelings to my friend about 4months ago now and she knows i get jealous when she talks about a guy she is pulling and sometimes i think she doesnt respect my feelings as she talks about her exploits too much and doesnt do anything discretely which makes me feel really sick with jealousy. At the end of the day she is my friend and i may love her but i just want her to be happy.
You will not lose anything if your mate is a good friend to you as she will understand and has probaly already guessed anyway. Confide in another friend so you know you can actually say what you want to and just be honest to yourself and your friend as she definately deserves you to be honest with her-shel respect you much more.
I wish you luck and hope that she is into you too but even if she isnt it will not be the end-it will just suck for a time. It takes a while to bounce back from rejection and with confused thoughts on your sexuality and yet trying to maintain your friendship it will be a hard time but you will see the light eventually.
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A
female
reader, bellachic385 +, writes (28 December 2006):
 Wow. Does she know you like other girls, that you are gay or bi. If so this may help. I too have a close bond with my best friend since we spend so much time together and have gone through so much but I am straight. Before you do anything make sure you are 100%. You have to know that if she is straight then the relationship wont work. I am sorry. This is a very serious matter. Rejection is one of the worst things a person could feel and you somehow have to prepare yourself for. It may be difficult to be best friends after this or at least for a while. I hope that if and when you tell her that it all works out. Good Luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): I'm actually sorry to say this, oddly... But, it's not always a good idea to tell your best female/male friend that you have fallen for them. Depending on their character, they may take it negatively, which also translates on how well you can handle whatever the result may be. For me personally, I do not believe that life is short, nor do I believe to have loved than to never have. With this said, sometimes, with the 'right' amount of perception, balance, and estimation, you may have the 'better' judgment of things and see if it is indeed a good choice to tell her.
Often, best friends or close friends start ot have feelings for each other - of course! What make friends best friends, or friends close friends? It might be their compatibility as well as their connective nature, but at the end of the day, you have to weigh this out - is it possible to further it?
People can argue that it IS possible, but I digress. Everything is always possible, but it's also how likely it is to succeed. You may feel regret to never tell her, or you may feel regret by telling her and never having the same friendship ever again. Everything is a risk.
If you so wish to proceed, the 'best' way to proceed is to either talk to her directly, hint at it, or write a letter to her, and if you wish to keep your friendship if she denies you, you have to make it clear to her in a sincere and mature way that you can handle rejection, and that you feel that the friendship can still work, if she so allows it. On the other hand, some people can take this sort of thing very badly. You can't prepare yourself on her reaction, but the thing you can do, is prepare yourself for the after-effects of what you want to do.
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