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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I want to stop watching porn! How can I do it?Hi there!I have a problem, I don't can tell anyone esle. I don't know, is it normal that female watch prons? I don't do it about once in a month. Free ones from the internet. But I don't actually want to do it. I don't know why I'm doing it. I don't really like it and I think it is very boring. And I don't like myself donig it. It is like something else in me telling me I have to do it. And sometimes I give in, but I don't really want to. How can I stop it?Maybe I have to say, that at the moment I don't have a boyfriend and I don't like to have sex with strangers. Sex for me is something I want to share with a man, I really love.So do you have any advice for me, please?
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male
reader, Dr.Advice  +, writes (26 March 2010):
The only way to stop it is. Divert your concentration. When you get a bad thoughts try something like playing games, Ring up your friends, Hearing musics, Watching movies. If you have faith in God you can even go to temple everyday and pray.
Since you wanted to erase your bad habits you became a new person.
But dont do anything stupid.
I hope you got something in your head.
All the best!
A
male
reader, listen to me  +, writes (19 January 2009):
1. Think carefully about why you want to avoid it. Having a strong reason for avoiding it is a great help. If possible, make a list of reasons why you want to avoid porn, with the strongest reasons at the top, and review it every morning and every night. (You can have it in a Microsoft Word file, password protected.)
2. Promise yourself (and someone else, for more safety) that you will (at least try to) never watch pornography.
3. Get rid of everything in your possession that is even remotely related to porn. Do not keep anything at all. If you have bookmarks to porn sites, delete them. If you are a member of a porn site, resign your membership. It goes without saying that you shouldn't rent pornographic videos or DVD's, or buy or read pornographic magazines. Bin your webcam if you use it for porn.
4. Don't spend lonely lazy nights zapping between TV channels, or you may break your promise. Try to go to bed at the same time as the rest of the family, or earlier.
5. Try not to be alone in a room with the computer while connected to the Internet. Plan how much time you will use the Internet, and for what purpose. Follow your own guidelines. And remember, having broadband access doesn't force you to use the Internet all day long!
6. Before you go on the internet, make a list (on paper) of the things you wish to do on the internet, work your way through the list and then log off! Move straight away from the computer and do something else.
7. Do physical exercise and look for a hobby or activity that suits your interests and likes. Try football or something...looking at porn, and jacking off and and will kill you...not physicaly but mentaly.
8. Don't fool yourself! Keep your promise, and think about the benefits it has brought and will keep bringing to you.
9. Look at yourself in the mirror When you have tempting thoughts, look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are better than that.
*Internet Tasks to Help:
1. Install a new browser instead of Internet Explorer. Firefox and Opera are popular choices. Browsers by Mozilla offer additional security by the installation and use of add-ons (ie: extensions). If additional security is desired, be careful to only select well-established extensions that block specific web addresses, ads, script, and Flash files. The FoxFilter add-on can block porn sites and prevent its own un-installation. Get your partner to set a secret password (see external links below).
2. Install software to filter web page content such as pornography (see external links below). It will help to protect you from stumbling into pornography by accident. That's important. If you are tech-savvy you can edit your hosts file to block your common haunts.
3. Do not guess web site addresses. Many pornographic sites have similar addresses of non-pornographic sites. Use a search engine instead.
4. Do not follow links in e-mail that is unsolicited. If it is a link you want to visit, copy and paste it into a browser instead of clicking on it. Often spam and phishing e-mail (Identify-and-Resist-Phishing-Bait) will hide script behind their links.
5. Do not open attachments in unsolicited e-mails. To secure against pop-ups and other bad scripts, use a free web-based e-mail service to complete on-line registrations.
6. Use filtered search engines or reputable directories to find the information you need.
7. Do not search for ambiguous terms such as "girls", "pump", "bagel", or "pony". Think carefully before submitting a search.
8. Keep software updated. Make sure the operating system and its software are up-to-date. Either schedule automatic updates, or perform updates and search for patches manually, on a regular basis.
9. Avoid illegal websites offering Keygens, Cracks or illegal software. These websites usually have explicit pornographic banners that might tempt you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): i am dealing with the same problem as you and i find it helpful to start checking of the days when i don't watch, and then i reward myself (with something other than porn) then i start to go for longer times without it .
i know this can sound childish but it trains you and you subconciously become opposed to porn
another thing that i try to get in the habit of, is just doing something else o the internet whn ever i feel like searching up porn
one more thing that helps me is typing in the link of my 'favourite' porn site and putting my fingr on the RETURN button and not pressing
good luck for us both
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): What is really important is to keep your mind clear from any sexual thoughts. Aversion therapy, though a bit disgusting, has been pretty effective. For example, if you are a boy and when you feel the need to masturbate, imagine just as you ejaculate, the penis is chopped off. I know, it sounds crazy but it is known to work.
Physically, those who masturbate will always feel week, and will have less sperm count than those who don't. Memory loss has also been reported by many. Mentally, there will always be a guilty complexion and we will not feel at peace in our mind. You see, whatever religion we are in, we have a consciounse, and it tells us what is wrong and what is right. So we feel a great weight in our minds all the time.
We should also keep in mind that for most of us, masturbating is the root to watch pornagraphy. So no masturbating, no watching porn.
But it is not easy. For those who have masturbated for a long time, the body keeps creating semen at a very high rate. This effects us in around a week after we have stopped masturbating, as it takes around a week for the spermatozoa to recreate. So the first few days might be easy, but from the 7th day onwards, we may feel a kind of nervous energy. It is not harmful, and a hobby or two will come in handy when you feel this 'nervous energy'. After around 3-4 weeks of not masturbating, the body will have accepted the new and more comforrtable change and will function properly as before.
Lastly, I am a 19 year old boy, and I started masturbating at around the age of 12. Things were much more complicated , because I developed so many fetishes. I did not know the great bodily harm this habit is capable of at that time, so I continued. Then it turned to watching porn from around 13yrs.
Later, I realised it had become a habit. But that is just what it is! So treat it like that. What are the rules in a habit? It has a begining and a end. It CAN be stopped. It has been done before and will be done in the future. Within around 3-4 weeks a new habit, a better habit will take its place.
If more info is needed, I rather think that www.newlifehabits.com had very good, practical advice, and it has and will continue to help me and others.
God bless and good luck, everyone! This is not a lonely, one-man(or woman!) war you're fighting; separated by religion, country, ethnicity and traumas, we are all united in one cause: STOPPING MASTURBATION. May we emergethe ultimate champions. May God be with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008): I have the same problem i just can't stop but, once I had police come over and my dad almost got arrested but he made it and I felt relly guilty so thats why I am gona stop!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2008): I totally understand what you are going through. Been there and have the Tshirt. I have the only answer that works. It's "a no override" filter on your computer. It's kinda like this. If you love your boyfriend or girlfriend but you don't want to have sex yet, the only way to avoid it is to not be alone anywhere that it could happen. Trust me, put the "be safe online" no override filter on your computer and you will not fall on that computer again. Oh yeah and don't stop reading scripture. The first answer was a good one no matter what anyone says. Stand strong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I had the same problem sometime. Just try and keep reading the Bible most times. Its the only remedy or cure. Its hard to fight it psychologically. Best advice. It works
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I would like to add to the last guy's answer.
There is also a monotony to all of the films. They all seem to have similar purposes and are so repetitve. Imagine watching other movies with the same dialogs repeated over and over again.
I also read on another blog the other day what someone metioned which seemed to be very insightful. I think the person mentioned that it was kind of funny how we should be so fascianted by watching other people in these sexual positions.
There are is another source which I would like to suggest to find out about the truth behind porn. There seems to be a British Documentary called the Dark Side of Porn. Although the last user did give some good advice on porn/masturbation, I would suggest that if a person does feel any inner desires, then they should masturbate without watching porn in order to keep themselves away from at least one bad habit.
One more thing, music is another excellent source to get anyone's mind away from these addictions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008): PLEASE READ THIS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think one of the main problems with the visualization of porn for men and women is a false sense of reality. The implication is that we can imagine this sort of experience in our real world. The problem with that is any of the various encounters commonly depicted in pornographic material are very rare or even completely nonexistent for all purposes. Try to think about the number of people in your immediate surroundings in a regular daily situation who can both share the characteristics of these porn stars and would probably have sex with any stranger instantaneously.
Many people tend to emphasize the Bible as guide to stop ping this addiction. So, what happens when a person is not Christian, do we suddenly not have an answer? Fine, if we use god as our rationale to quit porn, I guess atheists are always exempt. Therefore, I think we can battle some of this through one device present in all human beings, our mind. Although the following logic is similar to Buddhism, it is not meant to advocate Buddhism by any way or means:
It is apparent that you don't like this act(pornography), and you're suffering by engaging in this act. The simple logic is this: If you are really suffering so much, what continue to beat the daylights out of yourself? Can't you end all of your suffering and realize the world of porn is oviously not the world in which we live?
However, I would like to suggest keeping faith in God and reading religious texts as a supplement to your reasoning as to why you should quit watching porn (they are decent methods). Also, realize that there are directors and filmakers who treat this stuff as if its nothing other than a very profitable venture. In addition, I would suggest reading any books you can find about any truths behind porn. Every inustry has its major flaws, and this industry is not an exception by any means. In fact, there is a great article by former porn star Shelley Luben (I think) on the reality of the porn field. An other way to quit this addiction, as suggested by many others, is to find other activities of interest. There really are thousands of great activities that you can engage yourself in.
Also, go ahead and destroy all of your materials as suggested by others. The only problem that I have with these type of suggestions is that they tell you to also cut off all access to any new material. In our current world, this is literally impossible because you could reencounter these images within seconds via popups. The key here is to stick to your rationale about porn that you firmly hold and follow up with all other activites regularly. Develop these new interests and use your computer accordingly(maybe spend little amounts of time during the beginning of this phase).
If your're planning on having a family life or are currently in a family of any sort, think about other members of our family. Could you imagine them in a porn movie? What sort of example would be setting if you be setting if you believed that life is conducted in this manner?
Personally, I am currently engaged in academia and have no time for this sort of stuff. When you see your professors working hard in their labs overnight, you tend to realize the ridiculous nature of porn. After many years of personal thoughts, consistent failure, and retheorizing, I have arrived at this strategy as a means of eliminating both porn and masturbation from a person's life. The main reason I am writing this article is that many of the other suggestions seemed to be incomplete, convey a sense of hoplesness, or fail to provide a solution while urging you to continue with your reported problem (the most stupid, retarded, and disrespecful suggestions).
Also, I've quit masturbation also because I found it to be mainly an effect of pornography. However, this part might not be a practical solution to all people. Although I'm not sure about the link between masturbation and a decrease in risk of prostate cancer, I'm pretty sure that there has been no thorough scientific study has been done as of yet.
So, here I am talking about no porgnography or masturbation, does that mean that I am suggesting a celibate life? No, I think love was created as a solution for all of this. Notice that I didn't use the word sex because sex seems to lack a meaning in out modern connotation and is usually regarded as nothing more than a pleasureable act (just like pornography and masturbation unsuprisingly). What if you can't seem to be in a relationship that involves love? Either wait or pursue it (but either seems too hard these days, doesn't it?).
All of this is coming form a person who has personally quit pornography and masturbation for over two months now(very hard actually and takes immense self discipline, at least initially). Try my solution or create your own to battle it. Both of them are addictions just like drugs, alochol, and etc. If you have other family memebers you are urging to quit an addiction, think of your very own. They can be rid of with a strong mind and a plan. I'm very happy with my progress, and I hope that this serves as a decent article in your own plight to ending addiction.Mainly though, wake up and see the world around you. You might be suprised at its beauty.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): well thats a strange one, ive never heard of a women watching so much porn! You should occupy your time with something more productive. What I dont understand is that every site you go on about porn actually promotes its and denies that its a wrong thing to do. Madness
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): Hmm, well this is quite a difficult addiction to get over, most bad habbits are. To answer your question about if it is normal, it is "normal" in the sense that alot of women (and even more men) do it but that doesn't make it right. It is a bad habbit and its important to keep that in mind, the fact that you feel you cant tell anyone about it proves this. As i said it is very hard to over come this addiction but the first step is acknowledging the truth that it is bad and also being willing to work to over come your temptations. It is damn near impossible to overcom your desire to watch porn so you must work to remove the opportunity to watch porn. I would try to follow what the previous answer suggested and do things like limiting your internet usage as the internet is the easiest way to get porn.
I'd like to address something else you said in your question. You said you want sex to be something you share only with a man you really love. I'm glad you hold some kind of reserve about sex; it is very rare these days. It is true, it should be shared only with someone you love, but you need to take that idea a bit further. Love, real love, is not just infatuation or feeling that warm fuzzy felling inside, this is still just a crush (you've prabably realized this already). True love goes beyond those "feelings" and is also beyond simple sexual attraction or lust. If you truly want to have sex with the man you truly love, you'll find that he could only be your husband, not your boyfriend. Just like watching porn, having sex outside of marriage is "normal" yet still bad. It disappoints me that you don't seem to think this from what you have said. You don't seem to make the distinction of lust (sex) from love. No, love has nothing to do with lust. I don't quite agree with a previous answer saying you feel guilty about your interest in sex, but if you are then this is the reason why; sex with anyone other than your spouse is wrong and will only serve to screw with your emotions. I don't really expect you to belive this but I think that if you make that distinction then avoiding porn will come more esaily. This is what i did and it real does help. Of course I'm not completely over porn but I believe I can get there and you can too. Just have confidence in yourself and work to remove all opportunities to see porn in your life
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Porn is a big problem to both girls and boys, to those who watch it and also those who “act” in it, but not to those who promote and produce it, as they are the only category of people who benefit from it.Porn is probably on the same level as excessive gambling and drinking, as it destroys family relation and man – women bonding.People are more likely to quit drinking than watching porn as the majority is unaware of the long-term damage…You’re right in saying that sex is reserved to the right person…We are supposed to be strong and determined…The problem with porn, is even when someone start having sex in a normal relationship, he or she won’t stop watching porn, as they’re hooked like drug addicts, gamblers and excessive drinkers.Their sex life will eventually suffer and be badly affected, and can even lead to separation, and even crime… there are numerous studies that suggest that porn is at the root of sex crimes.There is no straight recipe, or formula for quitting as this depends on individuals will and determination to do something about it.I believe that the first step is to believe that you can do it, and even if it might take time, you’ll eventually get there.Second instead of surfing randomly and “stumbling” on a porn site, use the internet only when necessary such as sending or checking emails, learning about something…And try not to spend too much time on a computer. Instead go for a walk or if it’s dark read a book, listen to music, learn drawing, play and instrument.. any thing you like.Third, get rid of all the tapes DVD’s Magazines... destroy them and decide not ever to buy again…boycott newspapers and TV channels who promote the so called soft porn.Basically you declare “war” on porn and the source of porn.This war is your struggle and determination to free yourself…All type of addicts are slaves and they need to be freed from this bondage…Finally, move your computer to the living room.Don’t try to find justification, like when I get married it will all go away… it will not.Unless, you actually start now, and keep on fighting every single day.Know that you’re not on your own on this, I’m also on the same hook… and I’m also advising myself.Good luck to us and everyone who is willing to undertake the challenge.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 You can stop watching porn simply by stopping. That's it.Now, I don't think the question here should be whether it's normal for a woman to watch porn. You said it yourself: you watch porn because it's a way to let the pressure go without having sex with strangers. What I do find absolutely normal is your interest in sex.Maybe this is reading too deep into your question, but, perhaps you feel guilty about having interest in sex? If you do, don't. My advice is: don't feel you are worse than anybody else.I'm sure you'll find someone to love and that will be the end of the "problem".
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