A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how do I get past the hatered I feel for my ex now and is it even really hate? Basically we had been together for about two years and I really really loved her and she said she felt the same and to be fair to her she did alot for me. We ended up in a LDR where we could only see each other once a week and I know she wanted full time live together marriage etc and it was my fault we ended up in that situation. She said she could handle it and I said if she couldn't then I understood and would support any decision she made as long as she was honest.We split she said it was the situation and she still loved me it would take her ages to get over it etc turns out tho she'd been getting something going on with a guy from her work. We'd had problems about her lying about this guy before but she always swore nothing had happened and I believed it and trusted her.Now that I know she did have something going on and I know she is seeing him i really am starting to feel a great deal of hatred towards her and I want to hurt her not physically obviously but emotionally. I'm not the type to do it but how do I try and stop myself feeling consumed by this hatred.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): Tell yourself you had a lucky escape before you got married. Also you may not be the one to do it but as a cheater she'll eventually get what's coming her and she'll do it to herself. If she cheated on you, she'll cheat on this other guy and future partners, get caught out and eventually end up in a difficult situation especially if children are ever involved. So just move on and get on with your own life knowing you can hold down a long term, loving, stable relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2011): There's a fine line between love and hate...(It's probably not real hate you are feeling...just REAL hurt!)The only thing is time, good friends, maybe a date or two when you feel ready for it, and errrmmm time, time time!!You are totally feeling what is normal to feel at this time (try not to beat yourself up over it)!!!I'm not gonna say the old cliche of move on etc, because you need to grieve for the loss of this relationship first...Only time and other distractions will help, and one day you will realise you no longer think about her so much :-) and realise you maybe had a lucky escape (a liar is not good long term relationship material to be with...)Take care and good luck x
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