A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Forgive me for asking a question that isn´t about a romantic relationship, but I really need advice about something!Being an aunt here on this site, I feel guilty asking for advice when I should be giving it, but I don´t know how to deal with this.I´m from Florida originally but right now I am living in Spain, studying to be an EFL teacher. My problem is, that I´m FALLING IN LOVE with this place. I have wanted to come here since I was a tiny child, and I knew I would fall in love with it. As strange as it seems, I fell in love with Spain before I set foot here... I just knew in my heart I would belong.I realize how fortunate I am to at least visit Spain, but there are a lot of things buggin me. First of all, I am so busy with school that I barely have time to get all my work done... I´ve wanted to come here for so long, and I mostly see my school, and my flat. It´s almost torture that I´m in the country I´m in love with and can´t really fully experience it. What I DO know of it, though, I LOVE. Furthermore, everyone and their dog knows how hard it is for North Americans to get permission to work here legally. There are ways to do it, and I have access to career counselors at school, but I know I´ll have doors shut because of my nationality. It´s completely unfair, but I have no choice but to try to work around the system and find legitimate ways to achieve my goals without breaking any laws. I am studying to teach EFL which means I´ll be qualified to teach English abroad. I´m going to try to find work here but I´m scared of being disappointed. I LOVE my family (back in the states) and I miss them so much... I cried my first night here because I missed them so badly. However, my heart is here in Spain. I don´t regret coming to Spain. I love my family but I DESPISE my hometown, back in North Carolina (we live there now). I don´t wanna go back to North Carolina... we moved there when I was 16 and I hated it from day one. I never really adjusted. It´s weird, I had never been to Spain but I felt a sense of belonging since I arrived. I feel like I should have been Spanish, or Mexican.I went to college in Mexico and had very similar feelings of belonging. Anyway, I know there are people who want to come to North Carolina but I dread going back. I want to live in a Latin country. I don´t want to live somewhere I don´t belong. I would like to stay in Spain for a little while after my course (which lasts a month), but I can´t afford to stay here much longer. I have to return to the US to work and save money.People might give me flack for being selfish, but I want to be happy. I desperately want to return to Spain, but I don´t see how anyone can afford to go just whenever they want. Furthermore, I have to start looking for work when I have my TEFL certificate. I´m so scared I´ll never get back to Spain, or at least not for decades. My heart is right here and I love it so much I can´t stand to leave, not knowing if or when I´ll return.I hope someone understands how I feel. I realize I´m fortunate to be here but I´m so sad because I don´t have the $$$ or time to experience Spain... I would like to take a class here (I speak Spanish because I was once a Spanish teacher) or take the bus to Sevilla, but there´s no time. There are so many things I´m DYING to do... it´s driving me crazy.If you can help me, it will mean the world to me. In spite of all this, I´m happy except for this, but I just need to vent a little. I don´t know anyone well here, and don´t wanna write my parents. They`re not here to comfort me, and it would drive them crazy. I can´t hurt them. I know I should just enjoy my time here, but I mostly study... I just finished all my homework, after a weekend of it. I went out for drinks once this week and the rest of the time... I study, play guitar, and if I have time, eat and sleep. That´s about it.Gracias mil if you can help!!
View related questions:
fell in love, money, want to be happy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 November 2009):
Well don't feel guilty! If it's your dream to live in Spain, live there!!! :). No one will judge you for it. The best thing to do would be to speak to your embassy and ask for advice, then speak to someone in local spanish government, or perhaps speak to someone at your university (or wherever you're studying) if they would help you. Maybe speak to and english speaking lawyer too. Good luck.
|
