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age
30-35,
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writes: My friends and other classmates pick on this (cute) new boy. He has trouble making friends and he is very shy so that makes him a easy target. Almost everyone in my grade say hes a loser. The girls once put a note with (she knows that he has a crush on her) my friend's name that she like him (trust me she doesnt). When he confronted her about she acted like didnt know what he was on about. I thought it was so uncool.As for the boys push him in anything hard that will give him a blooding nose. I want to stand up to for him but im afraid that I might got bullied to. It is painful to watch him get beat up and I think should help him but how?
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bullied, crush, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 You have been very brave and you did the right thing. In the long run you will never regret having stood up to someone being treated badly. It is more likely you would in the long run regret if not having done this to help him. And you didn't do anything else than what you would have wanted other people to have done for you if in the same situation. Not right?
Keep that spirit up and peole will come to admire you for your integrity and strength to act out on what you believe is the right thing to do. Your friends, I'm sorry, sounds like nothing but cowards.
Take care!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Maggi I am sorry I don't know the Canadian System of Education.I wish some of my Canadian friends who knew the law helped me out in this.
But I do know the Indian system of education.If this had happened in my school your friends wouldn't have been suspended.They would have been dismissed with a poor certificate for conduct.They would never be able to get into good schools ever again.They would only be admitted to the worst of schools.
You did the right thing.I am shocked that such kind of bullying happen in schools.you keep yourself safe.I feel you should share with your mom or dad what happened too.
All the Best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI sitting with the new kid. My guy friends randomly come behind him and beat the shit out of him. I told them to stop at least 3 times. They didnt it so I pushed (my friend) him to the ground. Helped the new kid up. We went to a teacher. Got my friends on suspendtion (for a week). Was that the wrong thing do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Maggi, Sorry I missed your follow-up.
Your friends should not dictate who you are friends with.Heck my husband doesn't do it.
Even if I was ostracized by the entire class I would still stick on with the guy.
It takes courage to stand up for what is right.I bless you with lots and lots of courage to do the right thing.
If they start physically punching your nose as well,its time to report it to the teachers.
I felt proud of what you did.That took real courage Maggi.Please do keep it up.
He will turn into a hunk in the next few years.Just think you might be having the last laugh.;-).
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): When you are some one's friend you stand up for them come what may.That's what liking some one means.That's what good friends do.
I suggest you become friends with the guy.He would really appreciate you being there with him.Even if other people tease you,just ignore them.
Who knows?you are still very young.This might turn out into one of the best friendships you ever had.
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female
reader, heartbreakingmom  +, writes (28 November 2008):
Stand up for him he really needs a friend like you no one I mean no one deserves that treatment and if your friends can't see that they are not your real friends any way the scares abully makes on you last alife time iam 42 and it still hurts to remember those times my heart is with you iam sitting with my 13 year old daughter and she has told me what to say to you bullying never ok and it won't stop intill you stop it tell your parents your teacher any one that. Will listen and they will stop stand up for him someone has to let it be you.you are a brave and kind beautiful person I wish more people are like you best of luck please let me know how things turn out
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo the new kid was sitting all alone at lunch (he usually eats by himself). He looked lonely to me so asked him if I could sit with him. We ended up spending the whole lunch together. My friends went insane when they saw us. We got in this dumb fight over it. Finally told them " at least I don't need to beat the crap outta somebody to feel better about myself."They got mad at me (again) they told me I could pick them or the "loser" kid (that's his nickname). What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): Depends on how you do it. I mean, think about the boy. How would he feel being defended by a girl? Now, if he is being physically picked on, then it may be okay for you to step in. You may or may not be picked on for this. Some people may respect you, some may pick on you. Just look them in the eye and say "At least I don't need to beat the crap outta somebody to feel better about myself."So if they're pushing him around, just jump right in. I would, anyway. I would push them out of my way and push them to the ground. If you do this, warn them first. Tell them to stop at least 3 times. Then do whatever. If you get in trouble, tell the adults that you were defending your friend and that you told them to stop but they didn't listen. If you don't want to do any of that, it would help him a lot if you were his friend. Sometimes bullies don't pick on kids when they're with others.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): you sound like a good person wanting to stand up for this new boy- good for you. Unfortunately your friends sound very immature and not very nice people. Bullying is horrible and can really affect someone both mentally and physically. I recommend as others have said: talking to a teacher and/or a parent. This needs to stop. If you lose a couple of friends over this I wouldn't worry- they sound like fairly unpleasant people anyway. They may be nice to you but they cannot be good people if they treat others in the way they are treating this new chap. I would say try your parents first and then maybe you could approach a teacher with them to support you. This boy is lucky to have someone who might look out for him. Make sure you do the right thing.
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male
reader, MisterPerky +, writes (26 November 2008):
Talk to a parent. A trusting teacher or counsellor.
If you can make your voice heard, don't care what others say. What they are doing isn't right and did you know your just one of them by sitting and watching. I know how you feel about not wanting to get bullied but trust me even once helping that poor kid will mean the world to him and make you and the people that love you respect you soo much more.
Good luck :)
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male
reader, Trax  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 well it would be the right thing to do, stand up for him that is, and you should also help him get his own voice, I'm not telling you to get him going around and bullying people back but get him to be more vocal and stand up for himself, and from there on let your relationship unfold.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): i totally know how to feel thats happened to me so much!
the first thing to do i reckon it try not join in the bullying as much as pos...
whoever you can influence- like your closest mates- try to influence. like you dont need to be all like we shouldnt be so mean to him! but you could try shift the negative attention away from him by bringing up other stuff ... get everyone to be obsessed with something else... and leave that guy alone... or something that just distracts...
maybe bring up the idea of the unfairness in convos... not in that context but like say from a movie or something that everyone would talk about and probably agree with- be like haha that guy in that movie was so sad to that other guy... or something like that haha
give people you know something to think about then when theyre being mean to him theyll be more likely to think about how mean it is and not do it...
be nice to him whenever you can without being socially crucified... hell know theres at least one person out there who doesnt hate him... might gain confidence to stand up for himself...
.... just go all the way and straight up say stop bullying him... you guys are all being so sad rararar... who knows heaps more people probably feel the same way- espeically the people that bully him. in fact the people that bully him are probably real insecure- cuz when you feel bad about something with yourself it kind of feels better to put down other people.... anyway people mgiht agree and stop and still be your mate- and admire you for that- especially the guy! and guys mgiht be all aww that girls real nice not all mean like all the other girls and really like you for that
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but then again you might loose all your friends.. but you could gain him as a friend! shy people when they come outta their shell are usually really cool people!
and then in time... when people get over themselves and being immature they start respecting you and being your friend again...
anyway! haha if youre even still reading all this... i recommend trying to stand up for him cuz the first outcome i said i reckon is really likely... and you can always be like just joking! even thought thats sad... but at least you tried! :)
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