A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend are sort of on the rocks- it nearly ended last week but i've booked a surprise holiday to Vienna for our first year anniversary tomorrow and although she doesn't know where we're going she's agreed to come and we'll hopefully have a good time as we get on well when we're not disagreeing on our world views. The thing is, i've bought her a nice necklace that i want to give to her to celebrate our year together and some expensive perfume that i know she wants...i want to give them to her as i like treating her and giving her surprises but is it too much if we are on the rocks? she isn't even putting 'x' at the end of messages as she is unsure of where we stand and i want to give her gifts....is this a little weird? what will she think if i give them to her over a nice meal on our anniversary and explain that even if we don't stay together i wanted to give her something to celebrate our year together and to let her know that i care no matter what ---or is it a bit over the top considering we're not sure where we stand?Many thanks!
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female
reader, purplewasabi +, writes (3 November 2009):
 It's the little things you probably have to focus on, not the big things such as holidays and jewels! Thing such as noticing her more, talking intently about her day, just looking at her and appreciating her presence with you and in your life; all of these things can show her that you're there for her far more than material things can. If you are determined to shower her with gifts, allow for the possibility that it may be in vain. If you feel she really is drifting, give her the space she needs and prepare yourself to accept the fact that it might be the end. But don't give up immediately without a fight - just fight with style and care. (:
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): I can speak from experience of being on the receiving end- it will put her off you more. I hope you have a great time and things work out but giving her'stuff' is not the way and will provoke an icky feeling in her and a desire to get away from you. Best to give hher some space and back off to a degree, you may find she comes your way and misses you given the chance. Good luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 November 2009):
Dont shower her with gifts, she will only see that you're trying to buy her love instead of really work for it. The best gift you could give her right now is your attention and understanding. You really need to listen to her and talk to her. Show her that you can at least try to solve relationship problems rather than buy your way out of them. Spend time fixing the relationship, and when it'sb back on track, you can spoil her. Good luck.
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