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female
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anonymous
writes: Me and my partner (7 years) moved 3 months ago to a new area where we don't know anyone but are enjoying a better quality of life. He is supporting me whilst I go back to do my dream course at college. He's kept the same job but is working from home. I've got the 7 yr itch big time - I'm confused about what I want - I'm 30, he's 36 - kids, marriage, house?...and he is so laid back/unbothered that I have no idea what he wants. We do talk, I ask him, but everything is either a joke or something to think about later. I'm beginning to think he's a waste of space and I want a 'man' - we have nothing to show for our time together. Having had a very disrupted childhood, I now long for security and stability and am doubting that he will ever provide me with this.I feel like I can't have a massive discussion with him cos it's only been 3 months since we've moved - he's given up family and friends for me - and I want to be here at least 6 months before we have a big 'talk', otherwise it doesn't really seem fair - if you see what I mean.Also, issue No. 2 as it were - he is my best friend. I have never cheated on him. But, the 'passion' was never there. I've met someone who wants to have a 'no strings affair'. I've never been so attracted to anyone in my entire life. We have had one kiss which kept me up all night with guilt. I want to take it further but probably - obviously - won't because I couldn't bear to hurt my partner if he ever found out. Even if he didn't, I'm not sure the guilt wouldn't totally stress me out!I feel like if I don't - I'm missing out. I've never experienced these sort of feelings before.Shouldn't everyone get a chance once in their life to be with someone they feel this passionate about?I'm not getting what I need from my boyfriend and I don't even know what that is or how to go about getting it...I could really do with some - any - advice.Many thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Angel-lee +, writes (27 October 2005):
You have just answered your own question. You only get one life! make the most of it, be spontaneous!! if you truly believe that you are not going to get what you have always wanted from him then its time to get out of the relationship as hard as it may be, you have a life to live to, live it!
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