A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 24 yo and my girlfriend of over 4 years isn't into me anymore; we first met at school fell in love and had a wonderful first 2 years together. Both of us are our first relationship. She then continued her education and met new friends. She'd always say she was tired or busy with school to see me, I was very understanding. I have a stable good paying job and in my head i was in love with her, was going to ask her to marry me when she finnished up university. She started going out to bars and clubs 2-5/month i hated it but i knew i couldnt tel her what to do so i let her do her own thing. I was never invited "girls night out". She met this guy at work and started talking to him behind my back over facebook and on the phone. She then dumped me, i eventually found out and i forgot about her. I also found out she started dating other guys right after i got dumped. Two months later i took her back, i'm pathetic, love is blinding. It's been about 4 months now we've been together and we've never been fighting so much. I've read forums about how people grow up and change. Meet new friends and people at work. My girlfriend is beautiful, smart and i can't avoid guys hitting on her. I just get so mad and frustrated that i'm not her number one priority like how she used to make me feel. We both love eachother, but it's so hard when we constantly fight all the time. I can't see myself without her but it feels like she's not even there sometimes. We're still together but our relationship is hanging on a string. She says i'm too needy but then when i back off she just takes the time to hang out with her friends or go out clubbing without me... which makes me mad at her when i'm with her so it's an ongoing frustration. I think i'm depressed and i feel like i gave her my all but our relationship is not the same. I'm not close to her as i used to and wish to be. I know it doesn't look good but do i just leave her or work on things? have hope or move on? I have tried leaving her a couple of times but then she starts to cry and we just make up. Nothing changes in our relationship, when i try to talk about how i feel she gets defensive. I love her so much and i want a futur with her. I feel old and i'm getting to an age where i gotta settle down. There's a lot of good things going in my life but i just feel like a loner. Anyone have any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, blackchange  +, writes (19 September 2009):
in all you sound like a great guy with your priorities in check. my honest opinion is to tell her things have change, meaning you and her have outgrown each other. so many people beleive when they have devoted so much time and energy to one person things can work out. but in reality people do change and that change doesnt suite your life style. so bite the button because in your hearts of hearts you really know what you need to do for you. good luck.p.s. the kind of man you are she doesnt really deserve you, start dating again.
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