A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:lately im so depressed, i dont know what to do i have a job but only week two days a week, i have tryed getting more hours but there they dont have any, due to this im waking up and just doing nothing all day. i do drive but my car is broken and due to working so little i cant afford to have it fixed, id tryed getting a new job but havnt been having much luck. im just fed up stuck doing the same thing everyday im trying my hardest to better myself but doesnt seem to be going nowere. all my friends have there own lifes, and due to the area i live in there isnt much to do here. iv even tryed dating just to do somthing but its the same thing everytime that they either live to far away and always have to travel to me or just want one thing, i feel so alone help please i cant stand the pain i feel everyday no, can anyone suggest anything to help me please :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): Yup, as most people with depression will tell you, you're prob in need of medication- as feeling down all the time really does stop your brain producing happy hormones- even if you're not naturally prone to depression. Go to the doctors, explain how you feel he should prescribe them.Do you drink much alcohol? I have depression and have used alcohol as a quick fix at the time- but what goes up obv comes down and it REALLY worsens feelings of depression in the long term... If so try and cut down... It just sets you back to a downward spiral...What did you like doing before you started feeling like this? Did you have hobbies? Take just one interest, ask yourself what you would LIKE to do, and pursue it. It doesn't even matter if you fail, try something else? I'm 22 and know the way forward it's just getting last that mental barrier is so difficult, you've gotta pull yourself forward at the end of the day, rather than hoping someone will push you. But anti depressants will def give u a little boost. I also cycle loads- exercise really helps increase happy hormones in your brain- it's an effort at first but the more you do it the more you like it! :) Maybe yoga also? I do a bit amd my sister's am expert, That's supposed to help with depression. Take care and get to doctors :) post an update! X :)
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 July 2013):
Dear OP,
First of all, I suggest counselling. Because, if you're clinically depressed, it's going to be twice as hard to make all those changes you want to do. Since depression reduces your energy and your ability to make decisions and solve problems.
I've had several depressive episodes in my life and also some big changes I had to make in my life. I've also faced unemployment for a while. What helped me was something I was taught in therapy.
1) Make a plan for each day or even the whole week, in advance, so that you don't wake up without a clue what to do. If you have given up on all hobbies or job searching or friends, you can first make a brainstorming session. Write down what things you'd like to do again, what used to be fun, who used to be important to you.
2) For every day, plan one mastery activity and one pleasurable activity. The mastery activity should be something that you find difficult, that you should be doing and that will make you proud if you accomplish it. For me, that's for instance looking at my bills and paying them. Or calling a potential employer.
The pleasurable activity should be something that you enjoy or used to enjoy. It can be a walk outside, or watching a good movie, seeing a friend, whatever you like.
Try to accomplish both these activities every day. If you don't make it, be patient with yourself, just try to make it better the next day. If you can't make the mastery activity, don't punish yourself, still do the pleasurable activity. And the other way around.
This is just a start of course, but it helped me fill the hours and not just float through the day. Sometimes I also make a schedule for one day, I find a certain structure to be really important on days when you're not working.
I hope I could help you a bit. I know how hopeless this situation might seem to you. But it's not. You can make changes for the better, you just need to take small steps. If you're depressed, even smaller steps, but keep moving.
Wish you all the best.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 you are still young, and have a life ahead of you. you feel overloaded with burdens. the thing is you are not alone. there are lots of other young people in the same, if not worse shape. what i am saying there is always someone that has it worse, rougher, and bad things happening to them in life.
things you could do. maybe relocate" stay with a friend until you are able to get on your feet.it sounds like you have friends that live in another area, maybe you could do a job search and relocate.
maybe take a extra part time job. take some skill job course's in a tech school, or other training.
" i feel so alone help please" you are not alone. get a hold of one of your friends and open up your heart and tell them what is going on in your life, maybe they have channels to help you get a job near them.
the thing is let a friend know what is going own in your life, how you are feeling. that is what friends are for " to be there for each other". who knows they may have needs also that they have not opened up, and you could be a help to them also.
let someone close to you into your world, it wont hurt and it will help you feel less pain and a closer friendship.
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