A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have a problem. I have this best friend, she is only a year younger than me and we have been friends for a while now, I'm always staying over at her house and hanging out with her. My friends has a brother who is a year older than me and we are also pretty good friends. Whenever I'm at their house, because my friend always goes to bed really early, I often go into her brothers room and hang out and watch movies, laying on his bed together. This one time I did that recently and it was really cold and the room where I was meant to be sleeping had no heating so the brother let me snuggle under the blankets with him. After we watched the movie we were just lying there and talking, we stayed up talking till like 3am drifting in and out of sleep keeping each other warm. And we were talking about anything and everything. we talked about kissing each other and I asked him if we should kiss to find out if we like each other because we had both previously had mentioned that we weren't sure if we liked each other more than friends. He said no but only because my best friend had been teasing us and he said it would make it awkward, but the way he said it implied he wanted to kiss me and would do it if it wasn't for my best friend. So I'm not sure what to do my friend isn't keen on the idea of us together but she is rather forgiving, and I don't know how much he actually likes me (what do you think?)and I'm not 100% sure how much I like him either.One of my other friends thinks that I am only thinking about this guy like this because I only recently found out my last crush doesn't like me and I like the possibility that the brother might like me, but I don't know. I would really appreciate opinions on all of this please.Oh and by the way I am only 13 but please no comments about how I am too young and don't know what I'm talking about I mean it is the 21st century. thanks.
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best friend, crush, kissing, teasing Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok well I told my friend and she did freak out a little (She blocked me on chat and called me a sl*t and a b*tch but now that it's set in she is alright with it, she says I have lost her as a best friend, but we are still friends just not best friends. I'm not going to go over to their house for a while, I just need to see how things are going. There hasn't been any physical contact and I do agree with you guys (especially about the sex) but I'm still a bit unsure of the situation. One of my other friends who is older than me is trying to tell me that my best friend will get over it and she's just being immature but I don't know whether she's saying that because that is what she genuinely thinks or whether she's just trying to make me feel better.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 July 2013):
 you have to decide if you are willing to risk your friendship for a boyfriend of convenience.
the fact that you are over his house to visit his sister is the key here... you are a girlfriend of convenience.
IF your friend is concerned, there are probably good reasons.
the truth is that any time you need to keep a relationship secret there is probably a bad reason to have the relationship at all. In this case, if you were not friends with the sister of this boy, I bet you would not have much in common...
if you do decide to be his GF NO going into his room at night... NO being alone with him... NO sex....
you will find out really fast if he cares about you or not... if you tell him NO physical contact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your helpful answers!! and I have an update on this situation and it would be good to get your input. Ok so I haven't been to my friends house since but my friends brother and I have become pretty close friends and this afternoon he actually asked me out and we talked about it for a while and in the end I said yes to being his girlfriend. He is very sweet and so nice. We have decided to leave it a couple of days before telling anyone then I want to tell my best friend first, so she hears it from me. I am slightly worried about how she will react. Can I get Your thoughts on all this please, I would really appreciate it?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2013):
Honey you describe exactly the way I sadly lost my virginity to my then best friend's brother at age 14... it was 1974 btw... far from the 21st century...
I did not regret it then but i do now...
I am 53 years old and when my friend and her family get together (including her parents, her 2 sisters and her brother, his wife, grown children and GRANDCHILDREN) I am STILL mentioned as being the one that he lost his virginity to as well as my losing mine to him... we never actually were serious...
you are playing with fire honey,.
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