A
male
age
36-40,
*mootnezz
writes:hey, I need some advice from you guys. I think I am in love with this new girl at my work place. Initially when she came, I did not like her because I felt she was a braggish fellow but she proved me wrong, when surprisingly she engaged me in a conversation despite the fact that I was being arrogant towards her. After talking with her for some time, I realised we had common interests in so many things. As time went on, we talked more about ourselves and got to know each other better. Of course I did appologise to her for my rudeness towards her initially. Now I think I am in love with her but I feel intimidated by the fact that she is from a richer background than me. I think she likes me too in the sense that, she has never in any way showed some superiority over me. She talks to me about her family problems and I think she respects me. I asked her out the day after valentine's day because I didn't want to appear to be suggesting something by asking her out on the actual valentine's day. She turned me down but then explained that she did not like going out and besides she would not feel confortable with me, since she'd barely met me. I understood her and let go. A few days ago I was sick and did not come to work for 2 days. On the first day of my illness, she sent me a text wishing me a quick recovery. She called me again on the second day when I still did not turn up for work to find out how I was doing. When I came to work on the 3rd day, she asked me how I felt now and bought me lunch. I feel so touched by how caring she is and I want to propose to her. I just can't master the courage to do it because I was told by this friend of mine who was friends with her first before me, that she has a boyfriend. Besides that, I feel maybe she likes me and is just trying to be nice so I don't want to hurt her by rushing to propose love to her.I really want you girls to tell me whether her attitude towards me shows she is in love with me and whether I should go ahead and propose or wait a little longer. How can I propose to her without hurting her feelings? please help!!
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engaged, has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jabey  +, writes (22 February 2008):
hey Im glad we helped you. Im thinking of you.
contact me anytime xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): Hi HUN Im glad it helped as you can c you cant put e-mail ads in but you can message me through this site love TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, smootnezz +, writes (22 February 2008):
smootnezz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to you guys for caring to advice me. i really appreciate it. especially to mandy7 and jabey. i like reponses. i very up-lifted. you guys can write to me through [e-mail blocked] i will really want to have you as friends. thans a lot one more time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2008): Love takes a long time to develope between two people and my your post you don't really know this girl all that long to be truely and deeply in love with her.
I think you are confusing her act of kindness and frienship as her love for you. She has a boyfriend already, she told you that so she's not hiding him from you. If you propose to her now you would undoubtedly scare her away big time.
Just stay friends for now, but take it slowly as it will only make things awkward betwen you at work if not.
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A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 Hi there, One thing that I would suggest, is that you take a little time with this.
You are enamored with the lady, sort of like a crush,
which is fine, but you want to find out a few things about her, and let her discover a few things about you. She definitely seems to like you, she would not have done the nice things, if she didn't. But take your time, also you
should probably be a bit discreet if you work together. if
the relationship blossoms, fine, but if does not, it may get
a little uncomfortable. So be careful.
Take your time and see how she reacts to you in the future,
before you confess all. A little mystery is a good thing
and stimulates the imagination. Do not reveal everything at one time. Love is a very strong emotion, you will know it if she is in love with you. Being good friends prior to falling in love is good as well. Good luck and best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2008): Hi Hunny
I can see how you have fallen for her sweetheart, Thats easy to see but you must slow your mind down and think she refussed a night out as she said she did not want to because she barely new you, So thinking realistic I dont think the answer to you question would be yes, I would think it may scare her away. I certainly dont want to hurt your feelings and maybe her way of getting to know you is at work before she feels comfortable to go out with you, Providing she has no b/f. She sound very sensible getting to know someone before you go out with them is a good thing and time will tell hunny, So I feel you need to be very patient with her and give this time. Asking her to marry you would be the very wrong thing to do she would run a mile love and you dont want that..I hope you understand this is said with care and kindness I hope one day you find happiness TAKE CARE WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, roxker +, writes (20 February 2008):
I would spend a bit more time getting to know her and definitely find out if she has a boyfriend. I suspect she might like you but I think it is much too early to be thinking "love" and definitely too soon to be considering proposing! Take things slowly and get to know each other better first.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (20 February 2008):
Im afraid to be honest, I have to say slow down.
Falling in love takes time, to love someone you msut spend time together, be intimate, date, really get to know each other. sorry to say, as yet you to two have not had a propoer date.
Now my opion is she does like you and that is a very good basis for something to grow. The next step really would be, rather than declclare, love, perhaps telling her that you really like her, that you enjoy her company and would like to take her on a date. If she agrees to this then start to date , get to know her.
As a woman I think I would be petrified if a man declared his love to soon, it would actually turn me off him. i would like time to get to know him, spend time with him and then make more of a judgement on how I feel.
Good luck, slow down, and hopefull something strong and meaningful will grow for you x
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