A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:**for the last several months my sister and i have been planning to move to north carolina, the plan was she was leaving in july with her husband and kids and i was going in december. i was very excited to leave and start a new life, away from all my mistakes but today i found out that my sister is leaving mid may and she want me to leave as soon as get back from my trip late may. now i'm freaking out and very scared with lots of doubts. i know i'm going to have a better life in nc but now that my plans are happening faster then expect something inside has me confuse. i was born and raised in the same city, all my family and friends are here. i feel it's going to be very hard for me to let go of everyone especially my mom, my grandparnets, and my best friend. i'm so scared because i have always had my mom to pick up my broken pieces and when i move i won't have mommy anymore to help me with every little thing. also my grandparnets are very old and it scares me that if they die i won't be there to tell them bye. one of the things that scares me the most is that i will never see my best friend again, we have known each other for 8 years and he is the love of my life, i feel that if i leave i'll lost all hope of being with him. i'm also happy because everybody supports me. what should i do? should i stay in my hometown or move to a better life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): It sounds like you are having reservations about moving because you don't want to leave most of your loved ones behind. Family is important... and they won't be around forever. My husband's job transferred us to Florida. It's lovely here, but I do wish I lived closer to my parents. I have a few ideas for you. Instead of moving, why don't you take a trip out to NC to visit your sister this fall, once she is fully moved in and has had time to meet friends. This will give you the opportunity to look around the area, and meet some people. Another option... is to move to a city that is 30-45 minutes away from your family. This would allow you to escape your "mistakes" and surround yourself with a new set of friends... but it's still close enough for you to visit your family anytime. Please update us when you decide what you are going to do! Best of luck!
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 I am sorry, I misread and thought you were a male, my bad. But my advice still counts :)
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (28 April 2010):
"i have always had my mom to pick up my broken pieces and when i move i won't have mommy anymore to help me with every little thing." It is seriously about time to cut the cord, you are a grown man and have to learn how to pick up your own pieces. As for friends, I always found it silly to want to stay because of your friends. Do you think your friend would give up a chance to better his life just because of you? Or would he move? I think he would move, and then you'd be sitting there without him anyways. Sorry for the tough love, but you should move. Sure, it happens a little sooner than you planned and you are freaking out. Perfectly normal. Everyone freaks out right before something big is about to happen, especially now that plans changed a bit and you feel you loose control. But not to worry! You will regain control again, this is just a minor adjustment. If you feel better moving in June then tell your sister you need this bit of time to get everything in order as you dont want to feel rushed. Then have a gathering with your friends and do something fun together. And you could invite your best friend to come visit you at your new home.
Go! Enjoy your life!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Move. It's a GOOD thing that you won't have mommy by your side,ready to help you with any little thing, eventually everybody has got to grow up and learn to deal with challenges and fight their battles by themselves. As for your best friend- If I got it right you are not with him now, you just hope it may happen. But if nothing has happened in 8 years it's improbable things will change in future, and in fact moving may help you a lot to shed this unproductive emotional attachment.
Then after all, you are only going to NC, not China. Try it for a while and if you really really hate it you can always go back.
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A
female
reader, starky  +, writes (28 April 2010):
This can be a very tricky for you. I understand. Mom, grandparents, best friend and boyfriend seems like too much to leave behind. But the very moment you were excited about the thought of moving and starting a new life makes me feel you are looking for more. Think of it this way- you never know what could happen unless you try it. Maybe you will feel life is where folks are and you can always go back or you will find something in your new life that may be of a lot more significance. So you see anything could happen. I say- take the plunge! Best of luck!
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