A
female
age
30-35,
*pple89
writes:i wrote a month ago about my x boyfriend.. now its over.. it all started a month ago when i needed him urgently for a life or death situation and i called him many times.. he finally showed up but then he started distancing himself from me like i wouldnt hear from him as much. i confronted him about it and he said we were goin gto fast and we need to sow down bc he wants our relationship to grow over tim and not be moving so fast bc it wont end good.. i couldnt agree more on what he was saying bc more than one tim ei felt like we were moving too fast but i never really didnt say anything bc i thought oh we lke each other alot...the thing is i go to school in another city and im 21 when his 29.. i jsut tansfered to this school so last semester was basically my semester i had to meet people .. but i never had a chance bc he would alwyas offer to fly home to go see him and i neglected my sorority.. since im doing mechanical engineering, it requires alotof my time, and my only free time was weekends bc i spent hours in school studying.. but he alwyas asked me to go to him.. i wanted to stay in my school city but i jsut liked him so much and he was so wonderful i couldnt say no.. so basically the semester ended and i never got to meet anyone and he became all i had bc i didnt have the opportunity to meet people in my school, he aslo would freak out over my guy friends commenting on fb so it made me even more not talk to anyone (since the majority of my firends are guys)sometimes he woudl say things like please move in with me as soon as you graduate, he even said i love you before i did..then out of nowhere he jsut stast disntancing himself we get in stupid arguments about it bc although i tried to be patient with him i didnt understand what was going on .. specially bc sometimes he would be back to normal and then he would switch back to being all distant..finally at the end of al this crap he says his not into it so much.. i stoped talking to him after that but on friday i jsut missed him so much and i was durnk i dont know what i sad bc i was really wasted.. but he bascially said "ur so clingy thast why men alwyas leave you, stop making yous bf your priority" and said he n longer has feelings or cares anymore for me..i knwo its time for me to move on and im trying so hard to no think about him but i cant i cant stand the fact that he hsurt me so much yet i cant stop cearing for him, but he jsut got rid of me jsut like that.. im sure im not clingy.. its not fair he accuses me of such things when it was him all the way telling een once that he was ready to get married but that he would wait for me.. i wanna hear opinions:(
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female
reader, Jeana_B +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Wow, i'm so sorry this has happened to you..but your ex sounds like he was confused and didn't really know what he wanted..or maybe he thought he wanted this type of relationship in the beginning and became overwhelmed by it! I do believe he could have handled it better and not sure if clingy is the right word to use..but you were only reacting to the things he would tell you and made you feel..i know it's hard rt now but try not to beat yourself up over it because you did nothing wrong.. look in the mirror and tell yourself "i love you" and that you are worth so much more..the thing that has helped me when i had suffered a devastating break up.. i would imagine my ex dressing up in women's underwear and that visual alone would make me feel better to the point that i would laugh out loud..btw, i still laugh at times! Good luck :)
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