A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago, I never really got a reason why, but I've come to the conclusion she basically got bored of me and/or I wasn't good enough for her anymore. When we broke up we argued quite a bit, mostly because I asked her why we broke up and just got angry and some harsh things were said, but in the end we said sorry to each other and just carried on being friends. But now I want to move on but I still think about her a lot and it hurts, especially as she is with someone else now. I know the best thing is for me just to stop being friends with her and try not to keep in contact but I don't really want to just say to her, I don't wanna be your friend anymore. She's asked me to meet up and go for a drink with her and I want to but I know it's just gonna make me feel worse. I just want some advice on what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've thought about it and I've decided to just move on, I sent her a text just saying that I'm going through a lot at the moment I think it would be best to stay out of contact for a while. I know it's gonna be hard, but I'll get through it :)
A
male
reader, Ryder  +, writes (28 June 2010):
 Move on, its what everyone is going to tell you.. and its the right thing, blah blah. But its really not that east is it? If it is then great! If not then listen up.
Your going to be fine without her.. Your going to find someone else, its just a matter of time. Really, there are plenty of people in the world and the country you live in, lol :D
So just kick back and relax as you go through some things in your head. You have to understand that whatever you had going with this girl is OVER. Its never going to go back the way it was... NEVER. Cause once you seperate, you dont glue back to the original state. So, getting that out the way. Start looking ahead picturing yourself with potential partners and just imagine.. like picture yourself with other people. And really just remember this girl as history, something you did and feelings you felt that are gone. Just memories. It will be hard but hopefully you will get there.
Go out with this girl if you can! It will be fine, you will control yourself and your feelings because now your going to be thinking of her in a different way.. In the shes a close friend whom i have shared memories with in the past and full stop. Shes not a girl that i love and a girl that im going to try to get back with like the movies and have an awesome moment where i am the hero of the day! The moment you feel confident in the fact that its done with shes not the girl you think of, is the exact moment you have moved on.
And, no matter what anyone says.. You've got your on mind. If you feel moving on is what you want, then do it. If not, its perfectly fine to just stay the way you are.. and when your ready you will let her go. But try not to take too long cause its gona be painful.
Hope i didnt go too serious there, but its just that i really hate this situation. Been there and i hated it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2010): If you know you're going to feel horrible, why meet with her? Do you think you can be a true friend to her without feeling hurt, getting angry or getting jealous?If the answer is no, then you are right to say that you need to stop all contact with her. You don't need to officially say anything to her or announce that you won't be friends with her, just ignore her when she contacts you and don't initiate any contact. And do not meet up with her for that drink! Especially right now, I can tell it's going to be more painful than anything. Good luck, you're still young and you'll meet someone who will care for you the way you want. :)
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