A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so my boyfriend and I have bin together for a year and a half. We are both 24 (ill be 25 this month) living at home. I work two jobs one full time and one part time he works nights and goes to school full time. I just applied to grad school online so I can keep working both jobs and get my masters. We see each other a couple of times a week. Mainly when I go over to see him at his dads house were he lives. Mainly cause we can have more alone time there, both my parents are retired and are home full time were as his dad works. The main issue Im having in I want to take our realtionship to the next level and move in together. I make enough that I can make it work on my own, and when I told him of my plans to move out of the rents, he basicly paniced and told me to wait for him. After ranting and raveing about how I should move closer to him, and I replied with well maybe we should move in together now and solve the problem and he clammed up. So I gave him some space until he wanted to talk about more. Now talking about it more we have plans to get engaged this summer but then when I asked and we would move in together he said well not until the summer after maybe. I dont wanna be enagaged to him but still living with my parents. I think we are ready and can do it together but he still seems iffy. I know he wants to be with me and live with me. But I think basicly he is comfty were he is not paying rent and spending all his money his car while Im saveing for us to buy a house some day or whatever. He is the one Im meant to be with I know it in my heart. I lay awake a night alone thinking how we could be together and see each other every day instead of a couple times a week. Advice andy would be great please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (3 February 2011):
You cant force anyone to do anything really, all you can do is tell him how you feel and demand an answer for why he wont make the move, its strange that he wouldnt unless it has something to do with leaving his dad alone cause it sounds like his mom isnt around. Reassure him its ok to tell you why he truly doesnt want to move in with you and tell him its ok if the truth hurts your feelings. When guys seem iffy and dont want to give you a straight up answer in concrete its usually because they know the truth will hurt your feelings. I'm a guy in a serious relationship and I avoid those types of questions the best I can because I know the effect it will have on my gf. Also is there any reason that he might have to spending more time with you, one big reason I could think of off the top of my head is he has heard of you cheating or lying or some ehavior he knows he doesnt want to be around. That would stop me from living with someone let alone continuing the relationship.
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