A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok.. so my situation is a little complicated i'm afraid. Basically theres this guy, and me and him have been friends for a long time. And he liked me a while back, but I wasnt interessted cos I was getting over my ex. Now over summer we hung out a lot, which I felt bad about because obviously he liked me and I just saw him as a friend, but as time went on, we eventually had our first kiss, and from then I never looked back :) sounds good, huh?Anyway, since we are both back at college/uni, clearly we cant see each other as much, but generally we go out every weekend. But he doesnt contact me much in the week. Anyway I was noticing little things which maybe (or maybe not, because we girls tend to pick up on things which mean nothing sometimes :S) meant he was losing interest. So I was talking to him about relationships, but I made it a hypothical case, and he said basically he was scared of having a relationship, because his last girlfriend was very controling (this was a year ago). But the thing is, before summer, he was mad for a relationship! He told me all the time that he hated being single and stuff. So I thought prehaps hes making excuses to me, and I figured that as we clearly want different things, I should move on. So I didnt contact him, but whenever he's on msn, he always starts talking to me, and we have great conversations! Anyway I figured if he wasn't interessted, he wouldnt ask me out this weekend, but sure enought, he asks me if I wanted to go someplace, but I said I was busy, because im so unsure about this, that I dont want to get more attatched if it comes to nothing.So what should I do? I have a bad feeling your all gonna say to leave it! Cos if he doesnt want a relationship then thats that right? But if 'absense makes the heart grow fonder' maybe I should stay away until he realises what he wants. Our relationship is progressing, and I really want to move forward with him, but I wont unless I have some sort of commitment!Apart from that hes such a lovely and thoughtful guy... Help!xxx
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female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (8 November 2009):
 you can show him your nothing like his old girlfriend.
Give him as much space as he wants.
maybe only go on dates once a week and let him get comfortable with the idea of going out with you.
You have to work at relationships so don't just give up.
send him texts now and then. don't send too many random ones, if you have a reason, go for it, but if not then keep the 'good nights' or love messages to a very minimum, but don't force him into a conversation.
If all else fails then you may have to start looking for someone else =(, but good luck with this guy
xx
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