I want to move back to my own country, but can't tell my boyfriend about it or he will kick me out! What should I do?

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I moved to a different country to be near family 4 years ago and i met a guy who helped me through some tough times. The problem is i was happy with the move at first but then i started getting sick of it. Fast forward four years - i havent been home since then and he has little to no interest in going, i havent seen my friends in that time and I havent made any friends here. My bf expects me to be friends with his friends but i have nothing in common with them except that we all know him. I want my own friends. I have no life of my own everything revolves around him and his friends. I'm unemployed because i now have severe depression and he treats me like crap because i'm depressed so now i feel worthless. The only problem is moving i would have to save for a long time and if I mention it to him he will chuck me out before i get the chance and I will be homeless again. I keep hanging on thinking things will change but a huge part of me wants to just leave now. Its like things have gone past the point of fixing. I dont know why he wants me around because he acts like he hates me sometimes, shouting at me, embarrassing me infront of people. I dont know how much more i can take when i have no one else to talk to nearby. I feel like i'm being punished for not being well in the head like if i didnt have problems he would treat me better. what do i say to him and should i go home. I would have good opportunities there.

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