A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I think I have fallen in love with a guy who lives far away from me! I met him online and we havent actually met in real life (yet). I am 18 years old and he is 19. He really likes me and is so nice and caring and sensitive, and alot like me, we have similar values. I really want to meet him and he wants to meet me. The problem is though, I live with my parents and they are really protective of me. There is noway they would let me go to another city to meet a guy off the internet. I was talking to them today about how I wanted to go see a friend who lives in the same city as this guy, and they didnt even like that idea. I am getting so sick of them not letting me go. I feel so trapped at times. Its like they have no confidence in me at all. I really like this guy and im afraid that my parents protectiveness and their strict rules will drive him away from me. He wants me to visit him these summer holidays, but i told him i cant because my parents said we will be to busy. Which is true and i can understand my parents reasoning because a family member is very sick and i need to spend time with them.But still, they would always come up with any excuse. If he came to my city to visit, it would be alot better. However, i havent asked him to come, or invited him here tosee me. I would feel bad for asking him to come here, like i guess as if its a chore. He lives i this amazing city that everyone loves to go to, and i live in a boring city which isnt too popular. So he probably wouldnt want to come here. I guess im just looking for advice on what to do- how to get to meet him and also, if we do meet, what happens if i fall from him more, what do i do then? thanks for any advice in advance.
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male
reader, crazydirtyred  +, writes (8 December 2008):
You should tell him that you have to spend time at home, which is close to a relative. Maybe ask your parents if they can invite him over for the holidays and find out whether it would be okay with them first. They don't want you to go far away, so if he goes to your city, you wouldn't be going anywhere so there's no reason to worry. Let him know and ask him if he could visit you and your family, tell him your family has trust issues and they prefer to meet him first. The thing about the city, doesn't matter, it's the holidays and it's always nice to meet someone who you care for's parents and family. If he agrees, he must be a good guy, if he doesn't, maybe he has a reason, maybe he's just selfish. Let him make a move, but you have to tell him your situation and can't leave it up to him to figure it out on his own. If everything goes well, you'll be able to visit him sometime, keep a long distance relationship, visiting each other every once in a while. And if you both fall in love, when the time is right, find a way to be close to each other and maybe even move in together, but that depends on what happens after you meet him. Good luck with the guy!
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