A
female
age
41-50,
*bby1975
writes:Hi All,Well I have been seeing a "nice" guy for about a month or so now. The problem is we will see each other and then when I initiate contact post date he ignores me! Then a few days later he pops up again.The obvious answer is that I am a convenience etc etc and whilst I have (and still am considering that) other things we have talked about make me think of other reasons.He has apologised for the behaviour and said he really likes me and hence the problem as he says he is terrified as everytime he gets close to a woman, she leaves him (he has been cheated on in the past! haven't we all...lol). I have tried to make clear that I am prepared to give this a go but obviously this is not enough.Many friends have said maybe he is using me and is out with other women. This again is possible but as a single father with no real support system his free time is almost nil.I am 33 and he is 37. I am just not sure if I should "wait and see" or quit now. At the moment it has been 4 days since I last saw him and have had no contact, I texted 2 days ago and silence. So I am getting on with other things and not initiating contact either.I know he will reappear, and this begs the question. What should i do? If i see him again (I have told him I don't think the ignoring is fair behaviour, to which he agrees), I am not convinced this pattern won't continue.Thanks for any advice :)Abby
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): It sounds to me like the relationship isn't very serious yet on his part, and that's why he doesn't call more often. I wouldn't write him off though, you haven't been dating him that long. Give him a chance to get emotionally involved enough to want to call and see you often. Since it upsets you that you try to initiate contact and don't hear back for several days, why don't you leave it entirely up to him in the future to call you first? Maybe he will then take it upon himself to contact you since you won't seem quite so available.
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