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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a divorced 45 year old women. I have been dating a 48 year old man four 4 and a half years. I feel we are at a juncture in our relationship as to whether we are considering marriage or not. I have also a 12 year old son. My boyfriend just purchased a 2 family home as we had discussed prior. He discussed my son and I moving into one of the apartments as a "step". When I pursued the future plans with him further. He told me marriage was not for him anymore. I soon found out that he just wants to live with my son and I. He then became confused and speaking back and forth about marriage. Yes. no, maybe. As he began to see my feelings becoming hurt. I feel living with him is a bad exampe for my son. I also feel this man is afraid of another bad divorce. I also feel if I live with him marriage will never happen????? Gina
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (16 December 2005):
 I agree with Irish, it's time for him piss or get off the pot. You are probably right about his never marrying you if you move in a live together. If he feels your relationship is solid he doesn't have to be worried about another divorce anyway. Don't waste another 4 1/2 years if he won't commit.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2005): My honest opinion? Get a ring on your finger, get married and make a solid happy, respectable home for your son and yourself, with this man with the union of marriage. You truely deserve it. It's been over 4 years and it's time for your man to sink or swim. Don't settle for 2nd best. You seem like a smart woman who knows 'exactly' what she wants and possesses core values and integrity. Don't settle for anything less. You and your son are worth it.
Go for it, girl....take care
Hugs,
Irish
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