A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I want to marry with my boyfriend but the problem is that we both same caste but in our religion same caste cant marry with each other.We both love each other so much, please suggest what should we do...then our parents agree....????????? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 What do you mean you can't marry from the same caste ?... You are supposed to , that's what Hindu marriage is about - endogamy ( marrying among your own group ).
Unless you mean you belong to the same jati ( sub - caste , or sub-sub- caste )... I can imagine that in some areas there may be certain jatis which are very small and all the young ones are sort of related among themselves so it makes more sense, socially and genetically, to open up to other jatis... but I am totally improvising here, and anyway it would not depend from what your religion says...
Anyway : in theory you could remind your parents that the caste system has been officially ABOLISHED in 1948, and therefore , by discriminating against an individual because of his caste, they are doing something antipatriotic ,incostitutional and ilegal. But, I imagine you can't take your own family to court, or denounce them to the media , ... so, alas, I think all you can do is hang in there, do not accept an arranged marriage, in the meantime makes sure that your bf , and possibly you too, become financially independent and self supporting and - leave. Go live somewhere else, far from family and community pressure.
Said that , though, first, think it over and over and over again. You'd be probably alienating your family and... he must really be worth it.Boyfriends and lovers may come and go, but your parents are your parents for life. And not only in India, of course.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 I thought that it was preferable to marry someone of the same caste (not my personal view, but the general view). Did you mean you're from different castes?
Personally I don't think it should matter what caste you are from, but I honestly don't know how you can convince your parents.
Maybe an Indian auntie or uncle can be of more help.
Good luck.
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