A
male
age
36-40,
*essej
writes:Hey how are you doing.. Ok I have this question... how do I get this female that I've been talking to actually give me a shot.. I mean she's been hurt in the past and she always tells me that she just needs time to find herself... but then sometimes she says that she wants to be with me,, that she loves me and wants to give me a chance.. Then everything is goin so great for a couple days we get together hangout, she always calls and text... then all of a sudden it all stops she talks less, don't really come over.. And I would ask her why that is and she' ll say she don't wanna rush things, and that she really wants to be with me and loves me but she wants to go slow and make it just right.. And when we do get together it will be forever... and plus she's a single mother I forgot to mention,, but a really good one.. I know she's not talkin to anyone else because she's always with her lil boy or at work.. I stress this cause I never had a family, I was a foster child and in in outta group homes, so I have no family, but I wanna hopefully make her my family.. I really really love this female and want to be with her.. How can I get her to trust me and to get her to commit to me? Please help
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male
reader, jessej +, writes (9 January 2010):
jessej is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response that makes a lot of sense... ok but listen... I know she really likes me.. I mean she tells me she loves me all the time. And she actually said she loved me first.. But even longer story this is a interacial relationship. And her parents didn't agree with it.. But she talked to them for like 4months and until they came around.. So why even go through all that if she wants to go slow and stuff. Ok and next thing well when I talk or date someone I think we should talk a good bite and hang around each other a lot.. Well with her for like a week she will come around and text and call all the time but. After that she will slowly stop textin and stop comin around.. Then we finally talk.. And it will happen all over again...Can you help me understand why that is
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (9 January 2010):
 I don't think is a matter of trust rather a matter of chemistry and attraction. Imagine if Brad Pitt would make a move on her would she said to him "Oh, i don't trust you, let's take it slow i am not ready yet!" Of course not! It's clear. She just wants to have you around, it feels nice to have someone close to you that loves and cares for you, even if you don't feel the same. What I would do is politely distant myself, make her realize what she might loose. If she sees value in you she will come after you, if not then she wouldn't have been truly yours anyway. Best of luck!
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