A
female
age
41-50,
*ap
writes:Ok, i have been seeing this guy Dave for a year now. He is good looking , hard working and really kind to me and my two children from a previous relationship. The problem is no matter how hard i try i just dont get proper feelings for him. I thought i loved him in the beginning but this quickly faded and i just cant get it back.I have spoken to him and we had a break for 6 weeks before meeting up again last week. Initially it was nice to see him again but i already find myself beating myself up and feeling rotten for not loving him like i should.What should i do? He wants to marry me and i feel like running!!
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female
reader, zap +, writes (28 August 2011):
zap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your advice, just an update, i broke up with him yesterday.
I already feel better that i am not fretting about myself and blaming me for not having that spark with him.
Thankyou everyone for all the advice, without it i think i would still have been stressing!!
A
female
reader, zap +, writes (24 August 2011):
zap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all that have offered advice.My heart tells me no but my head tells me he is a really good guy, which i know he is.I so wish i could just push a button and create some feelings there, its such a shame!
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A
female
reader, KathrynM +, writes (23 August 2011):
Love is a chemical thing if you have been with him that long and you don't feel it then t is time to get out before you get in even deeper. It sounds like he would be a brilliant friend and that is what you see him as, so tell him that, you tried but you think you would be better off as friends. xx
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A
female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 I think you should try and let him go. Slowly if you need time to get used to the idea that he isn't going to be around anymore. Or just abrupt if you think you can handle it.
I once was with a guy I thought I loved. Handsome, funny, GREAT in bed, the kind who seems to focus on your pleasure only, a dedicated lover in other words. My blindness made me look past things that I would normally find very annoying. It took me a few days without him to realize that I could live just as well without him. I didn't need him. Now I am in the process of letting him behind, telling myself that I deserve something better and that great sex and chemistry is not all there is to life. Most important of all, I couldn't picture for myself a future with him.
Do what your heart tells you but remember to listen to your head too. In matters of love, the head could be wiser.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (23 August 2011):
 I guess you shouldn't have to try hard to have feelings for someone, they should naturally be there. You've givem it a year. It would be unfair to string him along for more years if you don't truely love him. Go with your gut.
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