A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 31 yr old and have always been overweight by 10- 15 lbs since high school. 8 yrs in marriage, 1 child and have gone up to 170 lbs at 5'3" height. Have PCOS, irregular periods and sleep apnea. I really want to lose weight. I have so many insecurities and lack of confidence.I know I need lifestyle changes to really lose the weight.I've read many books on it,know there are so many weight related health problems (which have already starting affecting me), have even advised other people on how they can lose weight but myself have not sincerely tried ever.I can list endless benefits if I come down to 125 lbs.But I'm not making the effort.I'm being such a lazy bum.Why am I like this? Why I think about this one night and the next morning choose to forget about it?Is someone in the same boat as me? Why am I doing this to myself on purpose? how can I be super motivated and do it instead of just thinking or talking abt it?Please help. Thanks for your time.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 I myself lack motivation when it comes to losing weight - some people are naturally like this so try to stop beating yourself up about it. I personally would much rather stay at home and cook a nice meal, then relax on the sofa with a glass of wine than go out for a run in the horrible rainy UK weather!
But so far I have lost around 20lbs (it has taken me a long, long time to get to that point) and I generally exercise at least twice a week, but normally aim for 4 times a week.
There is no big secret to motivating yourself - if you are not a fitness fan and love food then you will always remain that way, no matter what you do. I still love food just as much as before I lost weight, and I still dread going to the gym or going out for a run.
But the key is:
a) having a target - for instance, I am training for a half marathon. I have paid my entry fee so I have to do it - 13 miles is a long way so I know I need to get out running to make it round the 13 miles in my target time of two/two and a half hours. If you are only exercising or dieting to try and lose weight then that is not motivation enough on its own, you need a set goal at a fixed date to work to. Saying "I want to lose 14lbs by the 1st of April" is not enough - if you have a bad day you will mentally talk yourself out of your diet for the rest of the week, thinking "oh I've ruined it now so I might as well not bother this week and start again next week". Then you allow yourself to push your target back by a week, and the cycle continues. So entering a competition, or distance run or something like that is a set date (the key is the target is not set by you, you have no control over it!) then you know you have to keep to your schedule otherwise you will fail.
b) Routine - after a few weeks, you will find you get into a routine and stick to your diet and fitness regime much easier. It has now become automatic to me on a free night where I have nothing planned with friends or family, I come home from work, get changed and go for a run. Even though I dont really want to, it has become almost like an instinct to me and I dont feel right unless I have been out for my half hour run. The first few weeks will be very hard, with many days where you just feel like you cant be bothered. But if you overcome that feeling and force yourself to stick to your plan, then soon it will become easier.
I think the key to losing weight is exercise - because at the end of the day we only live once and some of us cannot deprive ourselves of the food we love. Living a life where you deny yourself foods that you enjoy is just not what we are supposed to do, so forcing yourself to eat salads, grilled fish and tonnes of fruit and veg each day (while very healthy) will only lead to you having a day where you completely relapse and binge on everything you miss!
So the way I do things is to still eat decent sized meals with lots of yummy food - but it is all home-made food. Processed food really is not good for you, even if it might be a low-fat ready meal or low-fat pasta sauce, there are still too many chemicals in there that have no benefit to you. So just eat lots of fresh, home-made food and then you can have more of it!
And the more exercise you do, the more you can eat (again, only healthy food!). So if you have a bad day where you have eaten too much chocolate, as long as you get down to the gym and work out for an hour any bad effects wont show on the scales! You wont lose weight but then again you wont put any more on either.
It is all about finding a balance, and finding something that works for you. My diet has worked for me because I created it myself, not from any books or following any diet plans. I cook fresh, nutritional food every night (even though I work full time) and allow myself little indulgences so I dont feel like I miss out on anything. Like if I want chocolate (which is most days!) then I have a snack size bar that is around 100 calories instead of a full size bar at 200-300 calories. If I want a glass of wine, I will have one as long as I have been to the gym or out of a run.
One little tip for you - buy a new gym kit/running kit if you can afford it. When I first started exercising properly, I bought myself new running shoes, running jacket, trousers, top, sports bra....the lot. Spent a small fortune on it all and knowing that I had spent all that money made me think "I really need to go for a run more often to get my money's worth out of all this kit!".
Dont expect to ever get up in the morning raring to go out for a run and eat a fruit salad for breakfast. It wont happen! Some people are born lazy, like me so all you can do is learn to mentally force yourself into things instead of giving in to being lazy all the time. Dont expect weight to fall off overnight, it takes a long time but that is the best way to do it - rapid weight loss only means you are more likely to put it back on again! Slow and steady weight loss is the best way to do it, aim for 1-2lbs a week.
Dont beat yourself up if you dont lose any weight or put on a couple of pounds - when you first start exercising you will put on a couple of pounds in muscle (which is a good thing because muscle burns more calories than fat even when you are resting!). The key is to be sensible, think about what you are putting in your mouth and drag yourself out to so some exercise from time to time. If you have a day when you really dont feel like it and just want to stay in and have a pizza - then that is fine too. Just make sure you exercise the next day.
Life is too short to deprive yourself of the things you enjoy, so just learn to enjoy everything in moderation. Most of all keep telling yourself you can do this, and it is achievable. You will find as soon as your jeans start to get loose that will be all the motivation you need to carry on!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, help... +, writes (4 February 2010):
Hi
My Advice would be to think about the future.
Disciplin is not easy, trust me i know.
I was in the same boat as you and find myself slippin back and fro. but you got to put you foot down and think about how nice you are going to look. Then you have to excercise and eat less, or better yet watch what you eat.Its not easy but to motivate yourself put pics of nice bodys around you and every time you see them it will remind you of your goal
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (4 February 2010):
 If you go to your local gym a personal trainer will be able to help you with this. I'm not sure how you are now but the bigger one is the harder it is to win the challenge. But you can do it if you are determined enough.
Initially I'd spend at least the first three months with a personal trainer, although it is a little expensive it will be the best in envestment you will ever make. I'm not going to be one of those people to go jogging every day because initially you will need the emotional and team support of a professional trainer. He/she will also help with diet as well.
Your sleeping will be improved dramatically, your breathing will be much clearer and your lazyness will disapear.
I tell you this because that's what I did. I was once very overweight and it worked!
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