A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: How important are looks to men? The ones who show an interest in me seem to only ever care about the way I look. I had one boyfriend who even said he loved how anywhere we went together, all the guys would be jealous of him because he'd got me and similarly all the women would be jealous of me. I just thought that was the most ridiculous thing!I guess I'm looking for reassurance that all men aren't that shallow.
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female
reader, visione +, writes (4 February 2010):
Well its how we were made.. how else are strangers supposed to be attracted to each other? Humans are engineered to find attractive mates so they can create attractive offspring! :) Physical attraction needs to exist for a relationship to work. Guys are especially visual creatures, so yes they will always say something or the other about looks.
There are shallow females as well as shallow males, and there are females and males that aren't as shallow. Different people value physical appearances differently.. perhaps you are so blindingly beautiful that guys can't help but be distracted by your looks? ;) Doesn't mean they don't care about how you are as a person!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (4 February 2010):
Don't know, how important are looks to women. Be honest now. Men and women ain't really all that different.
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A
female
reader, veronika +, writes (4 February 2010):
Not all men are shallow. But there's nothing wrong with being complimented on the way you look. I think there's a fine line between complimenting someone and just being shallow, and in this scenario it just sounded like your BF was giving you a compliment to let you know that he thinks you're really attractive.
If he was being shallow, he'd would have probably mainly be with you for your looks only.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2010): I think you're mistaking his compliment as shallowness. It's not shallow to be proud to be seen with an attractive woman beside you and see other men checking her out. Just like it's not shallow to take pride in your own appearance, to a point of course.
Looks are important to most men, because looks are the first thing that attract us to a woman, the same applies for women too. If you're not attracted to a person the likeliness of getting with that person are reduced.
I have to add though, that for me, while I might not intially find a woman attractive based solely on her looks, a great personality can change that and I often start finding girls like that more physically attractive the more I see how nice they are and the more attractive qualities they have in their persoanlity. Maybe I'm shallow for this but if I find a girl completely unappealing lookswise it doesn't really matter how nice she is I'll never consider a relationship with her, because sexual attarction is what makes the difference between freidnship and love.
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