A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We are VERY serious with one another and plan a future together (marriage, kids etc). We don't have any children or live together right now. However, lately I've been thinking we are ready to live together and I have spoke to him about it and he seemed keen to also. The only trouble is we both live with parents as we don't have enough money to move out right now, so if he did move in he'd have to live at my parents house.I was wondering if this is right? I have A LOT of respect for my mom and dad and even though they adore him, I don't want to feel I'm disrespecting them by doing this and I know they wouldn't say even if they thought he was.Also, would you say 3 years is long enough to move in together? I'm still unsure as we're perfect now but don't want things to change. How long did you wait until you moved in with your boyfriend/girlfriend?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (5 May 2012):
 You would actually have to ask your parents first. It is their home, their rules.
Unless they're incredibly generous, I highly doubt they're going to fully support you AND your boyfriend. You two would NEVER move out.
You need to find out if they're going to make him (maybe you) pay rent, money also towards the grocery bill and living expenses. Essentially, he wouldn't be there for free.
SO if you can't afford to move in together, then it's best to wait until you both can financially afford a place of your own. Moving him into your parent's will only set him back financially and you won't have that "on your own" freedom while living with your parents.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 May 2012):
 How long you you envisage this arrangment being for? Six months, 12 months, 2 years?
Have you considered the financial side of this arrangment, do you pay your parents towards the cost of living, towards food costs etc? Would your boyfriend expect to pay sufficient to cover all his costs, not just to cover the cost of his meals, also the cost of meals prepared and then he doesnt show up (frustrating that!), soap powder, gas and electricity, contribute towards phone and internet access, dont forget to factor in another person using appliances like washers and dryers will have an impact on them needing to be replaced sooner.
I wouldnt be prepared to financially support my kids adult boyfriends or girlfriends, in fact I would be quite resentful to think the work I do to get my paycheque would be supporting somebody quite capable of getting a job and supporting themselves.
If you cant afford to move in together, you can afford to move in together. End of story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2012): I think you really get to know a person when you live with them....depends on how your parents feel.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (4 May 2012):
 If your parents are happy with you both moving in together then there is no problem.
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