A
female
age
41-50,
*arinite
writes:I am dating a wonderful man an it's going so so well, but I really am developing feelings for him. We have been dating around 2 months now and see each other at least once or twice and week and talk every day on the phone and via texts. He has told me he thinks I'm lovely and amazing etc, but never once has he said anything more than we're dating. I'm so scared to tell him that I have feelings for him as don't to scare him off or come across as odd in any way. How do I let him know? I've not dated for around about 14 years and I'm genuinely terrified of how I'm feeling right now. I get butterflies, warm rushes through my body and a permanent smile on my face. Could I get some advice on how to raise this with him please? I just can't keep it quiet for much longer!
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (20 December 2014):
 Say you get butterflies and warm rushes because when you tell someone you have feelings it makes people assume your interest level in them is perceived as higher than theirs. It gives them the pressure that they have to do something, and their feelings have to catch up with yours. If they don't then they are bad people for leading you on. It's probably something that has to do with the English language. To say you have feelings is like a heavily loaded expression that does more bad than good, even when the other person is equally interested in you. Especially for men, they are not good at listening, absorbing information. When they hear something it prompts action. Men in general also fall slower than women. You didn't mention what your purpose of telling him is, rather than just wanting to get it off your chest. Maybe you can control your nerves a but and explain you just want to tell him something, and that you think he's amazing.
At the end, the right man for you would not be scared off. A woman's emotions is something inspiring to a man's dull world. A man ready for a relationship should be realistic about how women are and be able to handle it. The point is to understand your emotions by yourself because he can't do that for you.
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