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I want to leave my husband, not for this other man, but to get out of a miserable marriage.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 21 February 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been married for 8 years to a sweet and sensitive man. As with any relationship, we have had our ups and downs. We have a 5 month old son and I love my boy more than anything and he comes first in my decision.

About 4 years ago we started having problems when my husband started an online relationship. They never met and he ended it when I found out, but it hurt me. I decided to stay and work it out. But since then, I haven't felt the same. About 2 years ago I realized I was no longer in love with him. But I got pregnant and knew I had to stay.

3 months ago I met a man and made the decision to cheat. I thought I would be selfish, have sex and then end it. Problem is that we have unexpectedly fallen in love.

I want to leave my husband, not for this other man, but to get out of a miserable marriage. I have gone too far and I am scared of leaving (financially and physically) but I know I am unhappy.

Any advice would help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011):

4 years ago your hb was 'only' chatting to women online. And you got upset!

Now you have been having sex with another man. Are u now ok with cheating ways.

You just had a baby and you are sleeping around. How can u possibly take your baby away from its father? Will your lover take care of another mans child?

Yes I think u should divorce your hb. He doesn't deserve this.

I am just concerned about your almost newborn baby. You do not say where you will live or how you will provide financially for the kid. Your hb is not cheating , he provides for you and the baby.

Your hb is not making you miserable, you are making yourself miserable and to toip it off you now have a lover. If you do noit love your hb, please leave him. If you cannot provide for your baby plse leave your baby with your hb when you walk out.

Don't expect your lover to be around when you leave your marriage for him. Cheaters do not stay around to make good homes.

LoveGirl

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (18 February 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntThe only advice I can give you is to get out of the marriage. Tell him you are unhappy and you do not love him and that you want a divorcee. It is your only option if you are unhappy. But please stop seeing this other man until you are single again. As adultery is never the answer, yes he may have cheated on you, but two wrongs do not make a right.

I understand your concern for money but legally he will still need to pay maintenance towards your child. Just because you both have a baby does not mean you should stay together. So yea my advice is to get a divorcee and then you are free to live your life and start seeing this other man if you like. Goodluck.

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