A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met her at my second job, soon i discovered that she was not the one for me,(she would be staring at guys) but i kept going out with her until our relationship was too far, not to mention the fights caused for the staring, she always denied that saying i was crazy, to later accept it saying sorry, and that she would try to change. wedding came and after 1 year my first girl lights up our world, but after 6 months I leave for business for a year, she was visiting me every 2 or 3 weeks, during that time i would have the baby, and the next visit she would keep her, so, i came back home and found out she was talking to her ex boyfriend on the phone, only that she swears:) i could not prove something else was happening, we would have fights more often and i left.After one week, came back, talk it over, but in my mind, i had the idea that she was cheating on me, have 2 more kids, and she still keeps staring at people, but now she does it more carefully, i feel deep inside me that she cheated on me several times, and if i say something about that she denies it and saying I am crazy, but listening what i have to say, if i ask why did you cheat on me? she reacts wierd, and i know she cheated on me because i know her!, if i accuse her of something she didnt do, she would be mad and explosive, and on this case she reacts different, all i can say, i go to church, i love my kids with all my heart, work 6 days a week, i go from home to work and come back, dont drink, dont smoke, i do what it takes to be responsible, and i ask her what do you want from me? what else do you need. Last aniversary she got a new toyota highlander, i try to take her out for dinner at least twice a month, we put the kids to sleep and my mom takes care of them. now, i just dont feel like before, we argue and she wants the divorce rightaway, like always, if i dont get closer she wont talk to me for days,(now i am the same) when she is mad she says that dont want to be with me, and i really dont care anymore, than she apologizes, saying that she was mad, that she doesnt really feel that way. I want the divorce, but i cannot do this to my kids, and i think she feels the same. I wish see finds someone and leaves, but my life is messed up and i am not that lucky, have a new business and i try to spend all the time i can on it, but i want to be with my kids and sometimes with my wife, even though the next second i am so mad at her. life is hard. Help!
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cheated on me, divorce, her ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): just get a divorce now. It sure sounds like your wife is cheating. Of course she's gonna deny it when you ask her, most people do!
It doesn't sound like your heart is in trying to save the relationship anymore and I don't blame you. sounds like you and your wife really are only staying together for your kids.
This is going to be a very lonely life for you, filled with deprivation and constant suspicion and recurring anger. you may later on resent your kids that you had to live this life for them. just get divorced already and get into a better situation
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): Got to marital counseling, or end the relationship.Either you are accusing her of cheating, and she isn't, or she is lying about cheating and she is/has.You don't know.It will take several months to figure this out even with a counselor's help, and only if that is a really good counselor.You might want to hire a private detective to help with this if you think she is cheating, BUT remember, if she isn't cheating and you are accusing her of it and she figures out she is being followed, then you are really up the creek without a paddle.You just can't be certain. I've experienced this, my wife had an affair, when I became suspicious that something might be going on and asked "what is going on" she said "nothing" and later she denied it calmly (at least externally she was calm) and yet she'd been having the affair for over a month before I got suspicious...For years I beat myself up for being suspicious about my innocent wife...who eventually confessed (years later) that not only had she had something going on but that it was a hell of a lot more than I ever suspected and that she and the guy had made a total fool out of me.
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