A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:im in a new relationship after breaking up with my fiancee of a year and a half and i cant remember how i should act for the first few dates like how much is too much or too little texting and how much is too much or too little seeing each other. as i dont want to seem clingy or distant. ive text him 3 times today and got a reply for one of the texts and the last night i saw him was sunday morning when he walked me to work. this girl from work used to date him and she set us up so she helping me but i need other advice too
View related questions:
fiance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwent to see him after work as he asked me too. everyone at his work knows me as his gf now. stayed round to watch heroes then made plans to see him friday for drinks and to watch the firwork and water show that the council are putting on in the evening
A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Wait for him to contact you, guys dont seem to like clingy girls and if you come on too keen they sometimes run a mile. Keep him guessing and if he is interested he will contact you!!
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 The point of dating is to get to know someone. There is no guarantee of a 2nd date as things happen, even if you two had a great time. Try not to get your expectations up but do enjoy his company, if you do. He should also be trying to figure out if he enjoys being with you. Since you've just come out of an engagement, you should be sure you don't just fall into something out of the loss of your previous relationship. People tend to see things through rose colored glasses at these emotional times. Make sure you suggest things to do if he calls for a 2nd date. Let him know you have interests and that you do things with other friends. Guys do like a challenge so maybe not always being available is good. Regarding phoning..I know this is going to sound like I'm living in the dark ages but please let him lead things in the beginning. If you have a need to call him-you missed a call, you need to confirm or cancel a date, etc. But do not call just to talk. Texting...the new way to stay connected can be a blessing or a curse. The problem with texting is that sometimes communication isn't clear and too many times assumptions (wrong ones) are made and feelings get hurt. Try not to fall into the texting trap. Texting is for short notes like "running late", etc. These days, even on this site, too many relationships (and their subsequent breakups) happen via texting. It really is a poor communication choice. Save the talking for the dates and leave some mystery for the guy. I think an appropriate text after a date would have been "thanks for dinner, I had fun." and no more, no are you ok, no leaving work now and never ever, please call me.
Good luck with dating, it should be a fun experience for the most part but yes, the same crap you put up with in high school is still part of it!
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 yeah but was there really a need to see if he was ok, to tell him your finished work, and to ask him to pass on a message? he is fine, he doesnt need to know when you finish work, and you could have left it at the text to pass on a message.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok i used the word relationship as that what he called it and one text was to see if he ok one to say im finished work and the last was to pass on a message from someone else to him
...............................
A
female
reader, O Connor +, writes (30 June 2008):
ok well those 3 texts were 2 too much - he only replied to one!! while you want him to know that you are interested, you dont want to be so available and pushy with him. wait for him to text you now. if he does text/ring and ask you out again, tell him that you're not sure wat you're doing that night and can you ring him back. you say you're in a relationship, and then you say you dunno how to act for the first few dates - im just confused as to how long you have been seeing this guy? if you've only been on a few dates, i wouldnt be throwing the word relationship about too much!!
you have contacted him already so let him come to you now. its not being distant as he already knows you like him - you went out with him didnt you!
leave him to contact you now, and when he does be friendly and happy to hear from him. if you wanna email me go for it! good luck
...............................
|
