A
female
age
51-59,
*ukes123
writes:Hi im 41 and the guy i have been seeing is 52. We have been together on and off for just under a year. In feb of this year, after staying at his house I found very explicit photographs of him and another woman taken over the past few months. I was devastated, when i questioned him about them he admitted seeing this other woman (told me he had always been seeing her for sex, longer than our relationship, wanted to end it numerous times but just couldnt. Before me, he had several relationships with woman that he had met online over a period of about 5 years. The reason he was single was because he was unfaithful to his wife in the first place. Anyway, after a huge amount of screaming and crying, I walked away from him, left him in shock that i had discovered his secret but also in tears as he watched me walk away. Two long weeks passed without a single text or call and then he suddenly turned up one lunchtime and begged for my forgiveness.He tells me everything is deleted from his PC, She is no longer around and swears he is trying to be a new man as he loves me and realises what he has lost. He tells me he lost his wife through the same thing and that hes a complete fool.I am seeing him at present and so far he appears to be true to his word. He has also given me keys to his house to come and go as I like. I do love him so much but now im fighting the awful images that appear in my head over and over again. I want to heal and to trust him am i Mad? Will I ever be able to trust him again, or am i wasting my time? Please help me answer this.. X
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female
reader, Dukes123 +, writes (26 March 2009):
Dukes123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, yes thats the route I am currently taking with him. He knows how bad he has been and has asked that he needs time to consider a full blown relationship with me. He has however, promised to be faithfull during this period of time. He gave a period of 8weeks too mea short while back, making 1st May the deadline to decide if he can handle the real thing and also whether I wuld be able to forgive him? This was his decision and not mine, it seemed strange to me at first, but i sort of understand now. I am very, very weary now and will wait to hear the outcome... You never know! Once again thank you for your reply. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2009): They say a leopard never changes its spots, which is generally not too wide of the mark with most people.
All I'd say is proceed with caution and whatever you do, don't move in with him or vice-versa or, God forbid, get married for a long time yet.
If he's true to his word that trust will gradually emerge. If you have the usually accurate womens intuition that something isn't right at some time in the future, listen to it.
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