A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i know that i will probably get some not so nice feedback for this, but i need help. Right now i am "playing the field" i am "seeing" two guys right now. i have let both of them know that i am not into having anything serious. however, both of them seem to be falling for me. one had previously asked me to be his gf and i declined yet kept on seeing him. the other one is newer but he's one of those "good" guys and he's already told one of my friends he might stay in this state instead of going back home in a month because of me. they both keep hinting at wanting something more but (and this is where it gets kinda bad) i am still in love with my ex who has asked me to wait for him (which is why i don't want anything serious). i have been straightforward with these guys so that they don't get the wrong idea, and i emotionally i am pretty closed off to them both. they're both like friends with benefits with a little affection thrown in but not enough to "lead them on". I don't want to hurt either of them (im not THAT much of a bitch) but i still want to have my fun. is what i'm doing totally wrong? what should i do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 May 2010):
Both guys do know where they stand, because you were upfront, which was the kind thing to do. But I think you need to remind them (especially the one that is getting to close) that you are NOT open for anything other than fun. Make that point clear, and then it's his own problem if he's expecting more. Also, if you do think he is getting too close, then be kind and end it with him. There are other guys out there who will want fun.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 You reallly must tell what is what to the guy who would be going home in a month if it weren't for you,because this can really mess up his life.
As for the other guy, if he asks again just tell him you are not ready to commit,then he will decide if it's ok with that. I don't see what else could you do because you can't pretend that you are engaged just to humour him up.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 As far as the guy who is making a choice about his life because of you, you need to be completely up front. Don't let him make a decision based upon you when you're still playing around.
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