A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of my adult friend's won't have sex with her husband unless he has the snip. I talk to him often and we get into conversations about sex. It is becoming increasingly obvious that there is a lot of sexual tension building up in him. We talk about different sexual fantasies that always involve both of us together, not with different people.At first I was just teasing him because it was fun, but now I think we both mean it. But I'm not sure.What should I do about this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): What if he was your age, and he was moving towards a 13yo girl? What would you think about a guy like that?
That's what other people his age will be thinking about him for screwing you.
(And what would you think about the 13yo girl? Well, other grownups will think the same thing about you.)
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (4 May 2010):
 You are no friend…. Having sexual conversations is borderline activity; but the question itself tells me you have gone over the line.
Seriously – I have found my exes friends attractive – but I would never act on it…
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 May 2010):
 You maybe 17 . But he is married. With a friend of yours.
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril +, writes (4 May 2010):
 Firstly, for the American contributers, 16 is the age of consent in the the UK, and at 17 the OP is almost an adult, legally and otherwise. Technically, therefore, she is a free agent to do whatever she chooses.
OP, if you share these fantasies and are so turned on by them that you want to act them out, I suggest that you take extreme precautions: at least two forms of birth control, assuming the fantasies culminate in penetrative sex and be VERY discreet to avoid discovery.
All the other answerers have given sufficient warnings of the consequences if you don't, so I won't add to them.
My answering in these terms does not imply my approval, but I wanted to put an alternative view to all the negativity you have received.
One final point; if you are still a virgin, think carefully about whether you really want to lose it in this way and to this man.......
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A
male
reader, CkritAgentMan +, writes (4 May 2010):
I'll put the obvious moralaties aside, strictly speaking from the legality side... until you turn 18 he is risking EVERYTHING by even talking with you about such, much less actually acting on it. Honey you are to young to understand what you are doing in this situation. You are messing with DYNAMITE! He on the other hand is an outrageous IDIOT for even going along while knowing your age. STUPID MEN and the STUPID THINGS we get ourselves into all for a simple piece of snap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAM
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (4 May 2010):
 What should you do? 1. Stop having sexual conversations with this man. 2. If you do continue these conversations and decided to sleep with him, learn to fight because his wife and everyone she knows is gonna kick your ass.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 May 2010):
 The guy is married! That means he is taken!!!
At the age of 17, I would leave him well enough alone! If he is having problems at home, then dont you get involved in them! A relationship with him will just cause a world of pain for you, him, your family and his family. Hardly worth a night of passion.......or not......whatever the case!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 May 2010):
He's married. And if you do something, he will look bad for having an affair, but it will be YOUR reputation, dignity and just about everything else will be left in the gutter. Young women who have flings with married older man come off a lot worse than the married man does. You'll be seen as a home wrecker, and you'll be the one who gets laughed at by everyone who finds out, and from the male point of view it does make a woman seem a lot less attractive to know that she's been playing around with another man's husband, as I'm sure that men who play around with other men's wives also come across as dangerous bets in the world of dating. After all, how could anyone trust you? Keep your respect and don't do anything with this guy, or it will be you who loses out. Plus he only wants to use you for sex, nothing else. There is no feeling here. He just wants to take advantage.
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A
female
reader, Indianchic +, writes (3 May 2010):
Honey, you have not stated your age, irrespective if you can arouse this (Grown up) man you can arouse someone far more suitable in your age bracket. We have no right to be judgemental about what you desire, its normal to fantasize but by the sound of it this man is manipulative and is making you imagine situations which at your age may not be healthy. I would advice you to stay away from him, if he is not faithful to your friend, no way he will be faithful to you .xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): hi I personally think that its not right I think you should find your own man ..I dont think you would like it if others were doing the same you know??and you should have respect for yourself and dignity to be messing with others husbandss
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): Hiya, I think you shouldn't get yourself involved in a marriage. Sex is one thing but you could ruin the marriage and noone wants that on their hands, your young and obviously single you don't need to get yourself wrapped up in a situation like this. Maybe the guy just wants sex from you as he isn't getting any off his wife, whatever it is him talking to you about sex is wrong. You are mature enough to make your own descison on the situation but from an outsider reading what you have written, having sex with the guy is something but this is way more complicated then you think.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): Ok, even at 17, you still shouldn't go there! The short list of negatives:-Losing a friend because you slept with her husband-Getting pregnant by a married man-Breaking up a marrage-Possibly sending him to jail for having sex with youYou see where this is going. If he wants to cheat on his wife, don't let it be with you.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 May 2010):
You should still do nothing because he is a married man and what kind of a friend would you be if you did. Think on your friend not the husband, think on the pain you will provoke her and really think what kind of man this is that will get involve with his wife friend, not really worth the headache.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (3 May 2010):
 Your follow up came after I posted.
Even tho you are over the legal age of consent this is still wrong.
You are suggesting he cheat on his wife, and men will say anything to get a quick lay. He will see you as a cheap tart, with whom he can have fun, and then go back to his wife.
He will not leave his wife.
Its up to you. Do you have any self respect?
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (3 May 2010):
You are underage in the UK, so ANY sexual act with a grown man would be classed as RAPE.
You need to stop talking about sex with this man, and behave yourself. What you are doing in inappropriate, leading him on, and technically inciting him to be unfaithful to his wife.
You only have his side of the story, and it could be a load of rubbish. He could be LYING just to have sex with you. There are men who find the idea of having sex with children (you are a CHILD still) a turn on. These people are sick and dangerous and need help. No sane adult man would want anything sexual with a girl your age. It would be just wrong to them.
Keep well away from this man, as you may well think you are in control, and mature and grown up, but you are not.
What you are proposing is basically being a prostitute for him. He will not leave his wife, he will have sex with you, use you, and that will be it. You will never have a relationship with him.
Don't do it. You will get hurt, emotionally and physically.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (3 May 2010):
You should do nothing about this, and in case you two act on your instinct I recommend you buy a basket bread and water and make sure you take it to him when you go visit him in jail.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBtw. I am 17 not 13-15 x
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