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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi im 16 nearly 17 years old, im not in a relationship at the moment but would really love to have my first child at 17 just wanted some advice please....... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, danni  +, writes (28 June 2007):
well i think u have to go throgh some steps the first one is to get a boyfriend who u feel will love you and will care about you for the rest of your life and they want a baby with you at a early age.
i think you need to think about it for longer because 17 is a very early age to have a baby so just think about it and let me know how you get on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): I am 16 years old and my 16 year old bestfriend has a baby boy which is my god son anyways I ask her is it hard and she said its not. I think if u have a baby at young age you have to be able to live on your own and not depend on your parents.its not easy but it is when you have people that love you and will help you when its needed. so wait when the time is right baby girl. cause if you're asking for advice you're not ready. a person that's ready would just be fast and have it. and if you do I hope the lord blesses you n your child.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2007): Believe me, 17 is way too young to have children. I'm 22 and not even close to ready.
To be a good parent you need to mature, learn, and experience life a little, please do not have a kid only to make yourself feel good. This would not be fear to the baby.
Also have in mind the stress of a relationship or marriage with a person that you do not maybe know that well at such a young age, with the responsibility of taking care of a young child.
Travel, study and live a little before you tie yourself down for eighteen years!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): I'm almost 17. i thought i wanted a baby too. i talked to my boyfriend and he said he wanted one (hes the same age as me). we're still a couple and love each other so much. when we were 15, we decided to get pregnant. we had a baby boy, his name is charlie. i love him so much it hurts and so does my boyfriend. but its so hard to take care of a baby, work, and go to school. a baby changes everything. especially for a teenager.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): well really its not an answer but i know what your going through im 17 years of age n i have liked the thuogh of a bay for a while now but i have an implant which makes me want 1 more! no 1 can tell you not to as long as you know whats involved such as were to live jobs, money and how you can handle a baby. and if that dont put you off then its your time!!!!!
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female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (20 December 2006):
 You are very young and you need to think about why you want a child if you are not in a relationship.
Having a child is a big responsibility.
Do you want a baby for the right reasons?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2006): I think you should think really hard about this. I just had a baby and I am 26 years old. believe me it changes your life. No going out anymore. No time for yourself. No sleep. It is extremely hard and exhausting. I know you are think your ready, to know for sure babysit a (friend or relatives) baby for the weekend or get on of thoughs test babys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006):
Dear, it really sounds like your mind is made up already. So can I am assume, you are questioning this decision and wondering if this is a good idea? I do have some thoughts to share and for you to think over.
No, I don't think this is a good idea at 16 or 17, to have a child. I really do think, you want a baby to fulfill your own emotional needs. Babies are fun, cute and wonderful, but babies are the ones that have the unrelenting, huge emotional 'needs'that must be accomodated, night and day-to flourish, to be healthy and grow up happily. So one has to stop thinking about what 'she needs' and think of this what this baby will need, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. When a Mother puts her baby's needs over and above her own and anyone else's needs, in this world...this is the true mark of a mature, solid Mother. You need to realize the profound responsibility that entails the act of giving birth. From that moment, your whole future and life changes and the responsibilities that come with raising a new person, are monumental and darned hard work. So how do many young mothers do it? Well, it is hard work, a lot of sleepless nights, constant round of diaper changes, and it requires lots of work and giving up a lot of hopes, dreams, plans and education. Young tots/children can never be left alone, and their health and safety must be constantly monitored. This is a full-time, round-the-clock obligation. This no walk in the park, dear. Your whole life will revolve around this child 24/7. You will be fully obligated to exchange the fun and freedom to do whatever you want now, to doing for what is best for your new infant. Everything will revolve around the proper care of this new baby. There will be joy but there will be a lot of hardship, emotionally and financially.
All, I am saying is if you feel you are mature enough to get pregnant and have a child, make darn sure you are old enough to shoulder the responsibilities. With a new baby, your further education could be put on the back-burner, indefinitely. This is why many young people will postpone all emotional/sexual entanglements, usually have a better footing in their professions. They wait until they are done their education, they get established, they learn, they gain more life wisdom, maturity, insightfulness and ...then they settle down and have a family.
I also strongly believe, before any young woman makes a baby, she needs a committed, loving husband, not a boyfriend. Your baby needs two parents married and totally committed to each other. If I were you, I'd wait, get your education and career underway and marry this good, caring bf of yours, who will support you while you stay home and care for your baby. Do not expect any less. But in order to do that, he needs to get his life in order and have a career. Because raising children is not cheap. I hope at 20 years old, he's well on his way, in that direction.
So, please wait... and have that wonderful baby with your bf when the two of you are old enough and willing to stand together and proclaim in a marriage ceremony that you are partners for life. Any other option is third-rate and not good enough for any baby. Please think this through-don't allow your emotions to overrule your better judgment. I recommend you listen to the counsel and wisdoms of people who care for you like your mother, aunt, older sister, or an adult good friend. Sit with them and really have a heart to heart about this. Research what is involved in raising a child. Good luck, dear and give this time..live life and enjoy the freedom of youth.
Hugs, Irish
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female
reader, scared16 +, writes (17 December 2006):
 i would say that if you are ready then yes go ahead. but u say that u dont hav a boyfriend and if u r nearly 17 then tha is less than a year 2 become so close 2 your partner that u feel ready 4 a child. i dont think that is going 2 happen. jus wait until ur in the right relationship and don't rush things you have plenty of time x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): Hun, I really hope you thought this through, I can't say I totally understand what you are thinking, but I do know for a fact that how difficult children are, especially at an age where you are not ready for one.
I was young and foolish, and now have a baby girl. I love her to death, wouldn't trade her in for anything, but there are so many more things I wish I could do for her that I can't becuase I was not ready. I couldn't finish school so I don't have a decent job. I struggle to clothe and feed her, and I can just forget about any kind of fancy clothes and toys for her. I live in an area that isn't so great (high in crime), because this is what I can afford at the moment.
Oh and the father? Well we do live together, trying to work things out, but having a baby isn't easy, its hard work and a lot of money, he's upset because he no longer has a life. And of course there is the constant yelling between the two of us, and if we're not yelling usually we're just not talking to one another.
I want to give my little girl everything I can, I love her, but if I was only a little more responsible I could have given her more than I have now, and that's all I want for her.
Please think about what you are doing, I really don't suggest it, you have a choice, make the right one,not for yourself but for your child. Your baby deserves the best, and you should not have one until you are prepared to give that to it.
I hope you understand what you are trying to say. and since I'm assuming you probably won't, just try taking care of a relative's baby for one day, take the baby to the mall, feed it, clothe it, do everything you would for a baby, and at the same time keep in mind that on top of all this you would have to go to work to pay bills, to pay for food and clothes for her, and all of this without the proper education.
Please remember, the child did not ask to be brought into this world, you are bringing it in, so please do whatever you can to make sure you create the best world for this baby.
~ God Bless You.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): First of all, if you want this baby to have a good life, I suggest finding the right guy who also wants to have this baby in the next year. You have to make sure that this baby has a good mother AND father. My parents are divorced and although I think I turned out fine, I really wish that I had parents who loved eachother and I also wish that I didn't have to pack my suitcase and visit my own father. Good parents are important, so be careful when you choose this guy to make sure that you can love him and give this baby the best family possible.
Next, I suggest being absolutely certain that you are financially capable of having a child. Prenatal care, bottles, baby food, diapers, baby clothes, bibs, pacifiers, doctors bills, toys and daycare are EXPENSIVE. (I only list daycare because I'll assume that you and your perfect man will be working full time to support this baby AND yourselves.)
Oh, and while you're pregnant, you're gonna want to make sure you have a nice room set up for the new baby--maybe paint the walls in a certain theme, buy a crib, changing table,etc...
Wow. That's a lot to get done in 3 months--yes, you only have 3 months before that 9 month pregnancy begins if you want to have this baby while you're still 17. Better get guy hunting and job hunting... Good luck! And don't forget to tell your parents and the rest of your family!!!
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female
reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (17 December 2006):
 I would have to say first off that when you are truly ready for a baby emotionally, you'll do everything possible to be financially stable as well. Babies cost a lot of money... if they are to be properly taken care of anyway. They run through diapers like crazy and really do eat a lot because they poop a lot. Plus you'll need a source of income... so you'll need to pay for a babysitter. Or be a stay at home mom and have your mate handle the finance... But all this said at 17 its more than likely your not in a position to do any of this. Whether or not you feel you are emotionally ready there are just too many factors working against you otherwise. I have many friends who had children early and although they love their kids to death they do feel cheated out of their youth, and im sure their kids will end up being a little bitter because their moms do go out sometimes and leave them at home with a babysitter until morning so they can go clubbin and pubbin. Honestly you just make a better parent when your older... and it's easier to handle when money is less of an issue. And its not fair if you expect your parents to take responsibility of taking care of the child. I suggest waiting. You may be feeling unloved, and having a baby will ensure you'll be loved unconditionally... but seek a group of friends or online chat forum where you can feel accepted and it may help with the yearning for a child
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (17 December 2006):
 This isn't to get on benefits and a free house is it? Cos that only works for under 16s. Dont have a kid at that age. Have you thought of all the sleepless nights? The money problems (I'm assuming you're not filthy rich)? The responsibility? Not being able to go out whenever you want? You'll also be less likely to get a boyfriend later on (if you'll be sticking with the baby's father, this one doesn't matter)
The baby will also be getting in the way for any chance of university at this age or a full time career. Put this idea on hold for now
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