A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:Hi all. I just need an advice. Is this normal when your boyfriend cheated on you an had a child with someone else. I've have forgiven him an love him but I feel like making my first child out of our relationship an I don't think I'll be doing something cause I don't like to have my first born with him. Ill make sure that he doesn't found and he will even think that will be his kid an me knowing very well that's its not him. He has two kids with different woman an for me having a kid out of this relationship is not going to be a problem. Is it normal for feeling this way about my boyfriend? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): no you haven't forgiven him if you're feeling this way.
And you're right not to forgive him, he cheated on you and has a child with someone else!
So don't say you've forgiven him - you haven't, and you shouldn't. dont' say you love him - you know you don't.
that means you should break up with him.
it's ridiculous to even be thinking about having a child with him. It's even more ridiculous to be thinking about PRETENDING to have a child with him. you're taking a horrible situation (a boyfriend who is a cheater and has disrespected you and now shares part of his life with another woman because they have a child together) and making it even worse. you're going in the wrong direction.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): It's called "paternity fraud." They call it fraud for a reason. Doing this on purpose would get you a prison term if the childcare laws were fair to men.
If you are angry at your BF then you need to break up with him and move on. Doing more wrongs does not make a right. You are playing with fire with this idea. This kind of deception will eventually cause people a lot more pain than you know. And it won't just be your BF who gets hurt.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 August 2012):
 Of course it's bad, even for a fantasy for revenge. When you think of something like that it means you haven't forgiven him, and he shouldn't be your boyfriend anymore. It's normal to feel angry about your boyfriend, but lying to your child and to the father for the rest of your life is more unforgivable than cheating. This is coming from a person who is very good at lying but feel that keeping a secret is painful, such a burden to be avoided at all cost.
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