A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone, I need some insight.Okay, basically my fiance and I argue about what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in our relationship. We've been together for about a year now, and I feel as if I should be a priority in her life and not put on the back burner when it comes to her friends. She feels that I should not be apart of her social circle at all. Because of this, she refuses to invite me out anywhere when she gets the chance to go somewhere. It makes me feel like there is something that I have done wrong, or something wrong with me.She feels as if I do not trust her when it comes to this, and I honestly don't feel that way...she doesn't believe me when I tell her that, but it's the truth. I just want to be included and have the opportunity to spend some time with my fiance outside of my 2 jobs, and outside of the house every once and awhile. Money is tight, but if it's a chance to hang out with some friends she has, and her, then what is the problem here? I'm just really confused and I feel terrible about the entire scenario...I want to have mutual friends with the woman I plan on marrying...but if she doesn't want me to be included, then what can I do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 February 2010):
I'm not friends with any of my girlfriend's friends. The reason is basically because there are some things man is not meant to know, and these things are discussed with a woman's close personal friends. Also, she'll be fiercely protective of you and not want there to be any chance that her friends will attempt to steal away. Try making friends with other people as a couple. And listen to what she is saying as well. You'll get a big plus point of you respect her and listen to her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): You need to make some new mutual friends who are couples. For years, My girlfriend wanted nothing to do with my male or female friends and we would only hang out together with her m/f friends. This created a weird other world for me where I never had a girlfriend with me so I behaved differently. Eventually I drifted away from my friends and only had her friends in my life. I told her many times I needed my own friends and she would constantly say "but you have X in common with this person. See, he's your friend."Eventually I made my own new friends and she never wanted to meet them. Again I was in my own little world and I ended up having an emotional affair with one of them.If from the beginning she and I had had mutual friends and always been a part of each other's circles of friends, I never would have had an opportunity to make the bad decisions I made. I strongly suggest you make new mutual friends. Tell her it's very important to you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Girls are more possessive in love than men . She wants you all to herself and she may have a phobia of you being hijacked by her friends or that you may fall for one of her friends or there is fatal attractions.
It could also provoke jealousy in her.She could be trying to avoid those scenario and this could be why she is barring you from her other activities with her friends.
You are simply off limits to her friends till the day she nods her head.
Try to understand her from her female perspective. If you love her, just agree with what she says.
What is your motive ? Is she not enough for you ? These questions would cross her mind .
Most men would just agree with their g/f's and have nothing to do with her friends.
Women are more territorial and they are like those Siamese fighting fish. Any intruders would be chased away...LOL!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): really?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-he-should-have-his-own-friends.html
you two should work this out lmao!
she doesn't want you to be friends with her friends, perhaps it would be better if you make new friends together as a couple, instead of trying to invade on what's already hers, that way you still have your friends that are yours.
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