A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am having marital problems with my husband. He wants space, and we have not had any kind of sexual relationship for the past 2 months. To complicate matters I recently ended up in bed with our friend Ryan. Last week my husband was working late and then went drinking with his work colleagues. Instead of meeting me as we had arranged, he left me sitting in a bar with Ryan and another male and never even bothered to call me. I was upset, and instead of going home I went back to Ryan's house and poured my heart out to him. For a while we just talked, but we ended up in bed together and spent the night doing everything but having full sex(we had no protection). Neither of us want to start an affair but we both admitted that we would like to repeat our night together, and have full sex.I don't want to divorce my husband for this guy, but I also wish my husband wanted to fix our marriage and our sex life.Please help.....
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affair, divorce, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi again. Its been 4 months since my husband decided to leave and my life is better than ever. Ryan and i are living together now and have started trying to get pregnant. We have an amazing time together and both our families are accepting our decisions easily. As for the sex???it keeps getting better every time
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys,thanks for all your advice. Since first writing, my husband has decided that he wants a divorce. While I was pretty upset originally, I think it is the best thing all round. Now I am adjusting to being single again. As for Ryan.... we are having hot explosive sex every chance we get. No strings attached. For now thats exactly what I need
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 May 2010):
Wake up. Stop this affair before it starts. You're the one now who is about to cause a problem. Your husband will be livid if he finds out that you have had a fling with your friend, and that will end it. Get back to your husband and tell him he either gets it together and you work on your marriage, or end it. Now stop blaming your husband for him not wanting to fix it. Maybe he does, maybe he just doesn't think you want to. And if you're about to have an affair, maybe you don't want to. You want this fixed? Then have NO MORE to do with Ryan, and tell your husband to come to counselling with you. Because if you don't, and your husband finds out, it will be you who takes the full blame and it will be you who's reputation is left in the gutter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): You're trying to downplay the fact you've cheated on your husband by telling us how inconsiderate he is. Well, that still doesn't make it fair. How would you feel if he bedded your best friend because he feels you are not giving him what he wants? You would probably be scolding him, telling him what cheating bastard he is. Cheating is one thing. Cheating with the best friend is even worse.Don't blame your marital problems for your moment of weakness. Not having sex for 2 months isn't the end of the world. 2 years would be a different story, but even then it would still be wrong.Face it, you can't have it both ways. You can't be married to this man while bedding the other. I can never unerstand why people who do this feel they have 'the right to', because you don't. If you think you do, you're not supposed to be married. So make a choice. Work things out with your hubby so you can either divorce or make it work. Orbreak it off with this Ryan guy, who is probably the worst best friend a man could have. I know I'm harsh, but you asked.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010): "I don't want to divorce my husband for this guy, but I also wish my husband wanted to fix our marriage and our sex life."
from what you have written it is YOU who has decided that your marriage is not worth anything and that you have indeed thrown it away. so perhaps stop blmaing your husband and take a look at what you are doing. firstly stop having sex with his friend. that is reallly low and there are indications that both you and his friend have made up your minds to sleep together again. if that is the case pack your bags and stop wasting your husbands life. we cannot help you to grow a conscious and we cannot help you decide whether to start to full blown affair. your actions cannot and will not be justified. maybe re look at your morals and decide what is worse - neglect from your hb or having sex with his friend. we cannot help you if you are helpbent on destroying your marriage. you will be fooling yourself if you think your hb killed your marriage. It is YOU and you alone. just look at your actions and what you are still planning to do. you may not want a divorce but you want to sleep around. so you have made your decision.
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