A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi im 18 and i really want a baby. The problem is i live in my dads house. My boyfriend of 5 years who is turning 21 in oct wants a baby to me too but is afraid my dad will shoot him and im afraid my dad will hate me. I have even been thinkin of boys or girls names and asking my boyfriend which ones he likes. I dont know how to tell my dad that i love my boyfriend and want to start a family with him.
View related questions:
want a baby Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2008):
Has your man gotta job? can you rent your own place?? do u have money for clothes/cots/strollers/diapers/ and everything else needed?
grow up. Babies arent dolls. they require time, attention, love and all the neceseties. to me it doesnt sound like you cut it.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi there, This is all well and good to want to have a baby, nice and cozy. Does your boyfriend have a job, where will you and the child and your boyfriend live? Children cost money, have you ever had a pet, took care of a dog, cat, anything that needed constant attention? If you haven't you should try that first and see how you fare. Test your temperment with someone elses' crying baby, because you can give that child back. Children are not cabbage patch dolls, they have serious needs, and the need can come at 3 a. m. in the morning. You have time to grow, to develop a sense of what it takes to raise a child, your life changes forever, as that child has to come first, not your going out to a party, or taking a vacation somewhere, it is the child who dominates your world once he or she is here. Be sure you know what you are doing, before you embark on such a serious, and can be fulfilling endeavor, but you need to know that you can handle it. Read about caring for a child to get a feel of it. Do not think it is going to be all happy, dappy good times, as the child grows, you have to protect him or her from harm, drugs, sex before they need to be into it, all kinds of things, I can't even relate to you. Think young lady and be sure before you jump into this life experience. It's a big one. Take care and stay in touch.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Really you need to sort living together first?But ultimately you are 18 and can do what you like. I remember when i told dad i was pregnant with my first. He said how did that happen! It must of been eating those new potatoes! Dont ask me why he came out with that, but i expect its because he didn't like to think of his little girl having sex lol But it was fine, and that was 14 years ago now!Just think it through properly. Thats all your dad will want to know. He has to accept that you will and have grown into an adult now though.C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Isn't it rather selfish of you to lay the burden of childcare and housing a new baby on your father? Why would he want to live in a house with a screaming baby and dirty nappies? He's done that already, hasn't he, with you?
If you're still living at home, under his roof, you're really still a child yourself, aren't you?
Why don't you and your boyfriend move in together, get yourself financially stable and all ready for a baby, THEN try to conceive. It might even be a good idea *gasp* to contemplate getting married first, so that you are fully committed to each other.
I know you're 18, so I know you are considered an adult. But you seem to be making this decision like an adolescent. There is so much to get ready for with a new baby, picking out names is fun, the rest of it is a lot of work. Just wanting a baby isn't really enough, if you think this through. You need to be able to provide for your child, to give the child what he or she will need to grow.
Expecting your dad to be happy about having a new baby in the house is very presumptuous. Maybe your dad would like to be a grandfather very much, but I expect he'd like to maintain some peace and quiet in his own house, after all these years of raising you, he may actually be looking forward to some time by himself!
Again, I think you're doing this backwards. Get your feet under you, have a place to live, be financially independent (you're not, if you're living at Dad's house), and have an understanding with your boyfriend, THEN have the baby. As your boyfriend's going to be the dad, you and he should be living together. He has to pull his weight in the diaper changes, feedings, baths, soothing a crying baby in the middle of the night. It's not right to put your father into that role, I think.
Try to see the wider perspective on this, and think it through logically. Don't let rampaging hormones make such a life-altering decision, and don't force your father into accepting a living situation that is not his choice.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (21 August 2008):
 well the first thing would be to get a home and some money before having a baby atleast then you can show your dad you are being resposible and not irresponsible..also having a child can be a wonderful expierence but it is also very hard and demanding and wont leave you much time to explore your life and the world..so think carefully how much of a life you will have once you have a babie.. but i deffo think you should get a home together and some money before making hasty descions then once that is settled then tell your dad.. hope that helps good luck aphex xx
...............................
|
