A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Hi there,I've started seeing a girl for the past month or so. But I'm worried she's becoming a little too attached to me. She constantly wants to see me, and while I'm thrilled to bring her all the happiness I can, it can be hard work, because 1) she doesn't drive, and 2) she refuses to spend a night anywhere other than her house.Tomorrow I want to attend a friends birthday night out in the city, where me and some friends can catch up on old times and have a drink and a laugh. She wants to see me, so I invited her along, but she won't come because she knows that she won't be able to get back to her house if we stay out late (which we inevitably will).She had plans tonight so we couldn't see each other, I have plans tomorrow, and she has plans again on the Friday. It just doesn't seem fair that when I have arrangements I feel like I can't go through with them without upsetting her. I didn't make a fuss when she told me she was busy tonight and Friday, so I don't see why she should be fussy with me, especially whenever the reason she won't see me tomorrow is because she refuses to stay over at my house.What should I do? I'm going to talk to her about it tomorrow and see if we can come to an agreement, but I don't know what to say. Can you give me some advice? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (30 July 2009):
Ok this can be tricky, You need to set her straight now because if you don't she will be doing to you every time you want to do your own thing. Explain to her that you cannot spend 24/7 together and that you both have outside interest besides your relationship period it is only one night do what you want and if she gets mad oh well you invited her and she said no she didn't want too so why shouldn't you go. Honey you don't want to start losing your friends already and it hasn't even been a short period of time. This is your friends night and you should be there for him and you can see her afterwards. It is not your fault she doesn't drive and will only sleep at home. Please don't feel guilty for having a life of your own, she doesn't seem to have a problem doing what she wants. One final thing not be a wuss no girl likes that and if she is that needy you may want to consider breaking it off now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): Is there like not a bus route going from hers to town and then to yours or something so she can come see you sometimes?Do you know why she doesn't like sleeping at your house...I think you should talk to her about it. If it means her spending a few pounds getting a day ticket to come see you then I'm sure it's a few pound well spent.Go out with your mates tomorrow, I'm sorry right but a close friends birthday is kinda more important than you're gf seeing you for a night( that's the only time I'll be put second...) Make arrangements with her for Saturday and ask her to come round yours cos you've got a suprise ( actually make a suprise for her)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009): I think at the start or a relationship is the best time to speak up & talk about the issues that are bugging you or you drag them thro the rest of the relationship.
So ask her why she likes its ok for her to have plans & not you!
And ask he why she refuses to stay anywhere but her house maybe theres a really serios reason
...............................
A
female
reader, Charlpop +, writes (30 July 2009):
 My brother currently has the exact same problem, except he's fallen in love with his girlfriend, so he's stuck with her!
You [I hope] can be rescued.
She needs to know that she can't demand all of your attention.
What I think would be the best idea is if you actually set days/nights or the week where you see each other, and you both resolutely don't make plans on those nights without consulting each other.
If you offer this to her, she won't think that you're trying to spend less time away from her, it'll seem like you're trying to see more of her because you're setting when you are going to see her.
This way, you can plan out your week without any hassle or guilt [hopefully].
Hope this helped!!
Good luck
...............................
|
