A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so im 19, never had a boyfriend before, recently met the most amazing guy, he's 30. its a large age difference but we get along amazingly! we haven't had sex yet, although we have touched each other intimately during kissing sessions. he is obviously very expeienced, he said he is totally willing to wait for me for as long as i need, however i cant wait for us to make love. anyway, its his birthday soon, and im thinking of giving him my virginity for his birthday, what do you think? was thinking of staying round his house, dressing in some pretty lingerie and tying a bow around my waist, so he gets to open his present...good idea? thanks :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): its the original poster...we had sex! AMAZING! no need for the dressing up lol, just got carried away at his place! WOOHOO!!!!!!! thanks for all your help!
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (18 July 2010):
 My answers to your response are now redunant since the original poster has come back and updated her post.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 July 2010):
Didn't see your response original poster.. your question is, your going to have sex on your guy's birthday, and your not asking advice about that..
You just want to know if it's slutty to tie yourself in a bow..
mmmm.. don't think so.. but not sure about the birthday virginity thing..
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 July 2010):
Challenge Anti-sexual.. reason for not making a production or gift out your virginity is that first time sex is often bad and first time relationships often break up.
If you have sex when the time is ready and let it come naturaly without planning on a date, then that is romantic enough and your not so anxious about the result.
But when virgins decide to "de-flower" on birthday's, prom nights, wedding days, they often become uptight with the expectation of doing everything perfectly right and making it something to remember.. This adds to the pressure of loosing your virginity and often ruins the whole event.
Talk about contraception and protection before hand. Prepare yourself if you know that you are feeling the desire to have sex soon. Then let nature take it's course, hint at your partner you are ready, simple and easy, no pressure and less of demand to make it a "night to remember".
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (17 July 2010):
How long you been going out with this guy who is 11years older than you and is the first guy you've ever dated?
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 I would love a dick in a bow for my birthday!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): HEY IM THE ORIGINAL POST PERSON!!!! sorry i dont know how to log in lol.
thank you all for your advice, just wanted to clear up a few bits of information...
ok...firstly i have absolutely no intention of waiting to get married before i have sex!!! im english and an athiest so it really aint an issue for me!!
ok so im gonna sleep with him either way, i just thought it would be a nice present...i think he'd like it, and yes we definately want each other...lots :D
also we both work in theatre so we make a big production of everything! lol. and if he came in wrapped in a big bow for me i'd love it!!!
trust me im in a mature relationship, we talk about sex often, the solitary reason i haven't told him about my idea already is that i want it to be a surprise... i just wondered if it was a good idea, or if it seemed slutty?
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A
female
reader, papertowns +, writes (17 July 2010):
when you lose your virginity it's meant to be about you, it'll be about him if it's on his birthday.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (17 July 2010):
 After reading 11 replies, and thinking about all AntiAsexual posted twice, I think there is still something to add.
My first thought was no it's not the appropriate time for that. Upon reflection it is because a guy wouldn't do that. (with a few exceptions of course) If a guy wore to offer himself as a sexual gift he would be saying "For your birthday, I am giving my self the gift of having sex with you". That is why this rings false to us guys with experience.
If we switch our point of view to that of an inexperienced young virginal woman. Then it becomes the gift that some are seeing it as.
Some see it as too much of a gift. This is because when we see an older man involved with a younger inexperienced woman, we are naturally suspicious that he is only with her because she is easier to control or take advantage of. We see it too often to ignore the statistics.
Having gotten myself past those prejudices, My last advice is that virginity should not be presented in lingerie. Wrong choice of wrapping for that present. At least the lingerie should be carefully chosen to show the value of the gift.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Dont give it as a gift! It is up to YOU when you lose it, when you want too lose it. Please don't have the attitude, I'm going to give it away as a gift to a man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): I agree with anonymous about it being 'scary'. Personally I think it gives the wrong message. Sex is not a gift you give someone (look what I'm prepared to give to you) - it is a shared act of love (hopefully). If he came into the bedroom on your birthday with a bow around his genitals and said "I thought you'd like this for your birthday" how would you feel ?? Think about it (laugh or cry). Buy a gift and if you are ready to show him how much you love this guy then make a move for sex later that day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): You're 19, he's 30, he's going to think giving him your virginity as a birthday present is a bit nuts when he told you he would wait for you to be ready. I think making it a birthday gift is not the idea behind it in the first place.
It seems obsessive to me, not love but obsessive love.
Buy him a real gift, go to a nice romantic dinner and see how the evening proceeds...but I think you should talk about it first and agree to it and prepare by making sure you are on birth control, not relying on condoms to prevent pregnancy.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): I'm a guy and I say, "Don't do it." Wait until you are married. If he REALLY loves you, he will wait. Your long term relationship will be MUCH richer.
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Sounds like a lovely idea.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Well - as long as you are ready, and desire the man, and feel that it could be a lasting relationship - then why not? There are plenty of reasons to remain chaste, and plenty of reasons to wait for marriage and all, but you are well of age and permitted to live your life as you wish. Well, except for the socialist government edicts in Great Briton.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): i am a guy and id find that scary. Itd make me think you were crazy. Buy him a regular gift and have a nice dinner. Have sex if you want to but dont make a big production out of it
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Right. Im going to emphisize what moo's mum said.
If it's what YOU really want go for it.
Because you can only give this gift once.
Nick.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 For sure it's a good idea. If it's what YOU really want go for it. Please please use condoms though.
Have fun!!!
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